100+ Funniest Movie Quotes of All Time

Thanks to screenwriters, movies are full of hilarious lines. There’s humor in all genres. If you’re ready to laugh, read the funniest movie quotes.

Movie clapperboard.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Movies are excellent for education, entertainment, and relaxation.

They date back to the late 19th century. Today, there are hundreds of thousands of movies.

Throughout the many film genres and years, screenwriters have written funny lines.

The following are hilarious movie quotes to make you laugh.

Related: Funny Theater Puns

Hilarious movie quotes to keep you laughing

1. “Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.” –Shrek 2, 2004

2. “Earth is amazing! There are these things called farms. They put seeds in the ground, pour water on them, and they grow into food, like pizzas!” –WALL-E, 2008

3. “Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first.” –Duck Soup, 1933

4. “If you are going to come along with us, please refrain from saying things like ‘preach’ or ‘go girl’ or any other colloquialism that you may have looked up in an urban dictionary.” –Girls Trip, 2017

5. “If I wore my hair natural like yours, I’d be bald.” –Auntie Mame, 1958

Funny movie quote from Auntie Mame.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

6. “That’s it, dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!” –Mulan, 1998

7. “I don’t want to be rude, but may I have a drink? I had three or four before I got here, but they’re beginning to wear off. And you know how that is.” –The Awful Truth, 1937

8. “Keep the change, ya filthy animal.” –Home Alone, 1990

9. “Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.” –Airplane, 1980

10. “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” –The Wizard of Oz, 1939

11. “I fart in your general direction!” –Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975

12. “These people are so posh and snobby, they’re snoshy.” –Crazy Rich Asians, 2018

13. “Stupid is as stupid does.” –Forrest Gump, 1994

14. “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.” –Airplane, 1980

15. “I’m just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.” –The Devil Wears Prada, 2006

16. “It’s too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here. I gotta send him back to the South Pole.” –Billy Madison, 1995

17. “I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?” –Meet the Parents, 2000

18. “That is my least vulnerable spot.” –Casablanca, 1942

19. “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don’t know.” –Animal Crackers, 1930

20. “It’s the first time I’ve ever seen you look ugly. And that makes me kind of happy.” –Bridesmaids, 2011

21. “Honey, do you honestly think I would check thousands of tiny little lights if I wasn’t sure the extension cord was plugged in?” –National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, 1989

22. “There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.” –The First Wives Club, 1996

23. “You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!” –Happy Gilmore, 1996

Funny quote from Happy Gilmore.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

24. “I’m the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.” –The Departed, 2006

25. “I’m glad he’s single because I’m going to climb that like a tree.” –Bridesmaids, 2011

26. “What is this? A center for ants?” –Zoolander, 2001

27. “I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.” –Spaceballs, 1987

28. “Greater good? I am your wife! I’m the greatest good you’re ever gonna get!” –The Incredibles, 2004

29. “Not you, fat Jesus. Slide it on back!” –The Hangover, 2009

30. “Hold on to your butts!” –Jurassic Park, 1993

31. “But did you die?” –The Hangover Part II, 2011

32. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” –Love Story, 1970

33. “You know how to cut to the core of me Baxter. You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.” –Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, 2004

34. “My name is Jim. But most people call me… Jim.” –Blazing Saddles, 1974

35. “It was a good death.” –Legends of the Fall, 1994

36. “I drink your milkshake!” –There Will Be Blood, 2007

37. “A fatty who likes golf and beer. Gee, Mary, where are you gonna find a gem like that?” –There’s Something About Mary, 1998

38. “Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” –Step Brothers, 2008

39. “Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babes all day.” –Napoleon Dynamite, 2004

40. “What the hell have you people been smoking out there?” –Avatar, 2009

41. “McLovin? What kind of stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?” –Superbad, 2007

Funny movie quote from Superbad.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

42. “I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.” –The Departed, 2006

43. “King Kong ain’t got shit on me!” –Training Day, 2001

44. “Go ahead, make my day.” –Sudden Impact, 1983

45. “Hey everybody, we’re all gonna get laid!” –Caddyshack, 1980

46. “Son of a bitch stole my line.” –Good Will Hunting, 1997

47. “Supermodels – ha! Nothing super about them. Spoiled, stupid little stick-figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for GODS!” –The Incredibles, 2004

48. “Some people are worth melting for.” –Frozen, 2013

49. “Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?” –Rush Hour, 1998

50. “I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” –Snakes on a Plane, 2006

51. “English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?” –Pulp Fiction, 1994

52. “Look at me. Look at me. I am the captain now.” –Captain Phillips, 2013

53. “Excuse me. I believe you have my stapler.” –Office Space, 1999

54. “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” –Gone with the Wind, 1939

55. “My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” –Forrest Gump, 1994

56. “How the hell did you get the beans above the frank?” –There’s Something About Mary, 1998

57. “This morning, he woke up dead.” –Scary Movie 3, 2003

58. “You had my curiosity. But now you have my attention.” –Django Unchained, 2012

59. “I am the motherfucker that found this place, sir.” –Zero Dark Thirty, 2012

60. “In one of our designs even these mosquito bites will look like juicy, juicy mangoes!” –Bend It Like Beckham, 2002

61. “Yeah, well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” –The Big Lebowski, 1998

62. “They hate us cuz they anus.” –The Interview, 2014

63. “Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that.” –National Lampoon’s Vacation, 1983

64. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.” –Dr. Strangelove, 1964

65. “It’s about time somebody stood up to Auntie Eleanor. But you, not me, oh god. She can’t ever know I was here.” –Crazy Rich Asians, 2018

66. “I’ll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got.” –Raising Arizona, 1987

67. “I’m about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late ’90s.” –Deadpool, 2016

68. “Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed.” –Legally Blonde, 2001

69. “You’re tacky, and I hate you.” –School of Rock, 2003

70. “She doesn’t even go here.” –Mean Girls, 2004

71. “You relax. You’re the dead guy.” –Ghost, 1990

72. “By all means move at a glacial pace, you know how that thrills me.” –The Devil Wears Prada, 2006

73. “Please. Have mercy. I’ve been wearing the same underwear since Tuesday.” –Planes, Trains and Automobiles, 1987

Funny movie quote from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

74. “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” –Jaws, 1975

75. “Does this look like a sippy cup? No, it’s a fucking juice box! Because I’m not a fucking child!” –Good Boys, 2019

76. “You stink. You smell like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa.” –Elf, 2003

77. “Look like a bedazzler threw up on that thing . . . donate it to the My Little Pony Motorcycle club.” –Girls Trip, 2017

78. “I’ll have what she’s having.” –When Harry Met Sally…, 1989  

79. “It’s not a man purse. It’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.” –The Hangover, 2009

80. “Roads? Where we’re going we don’t need roads.” –Back to the Future, 1985

81. “Is that your gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?” –She Done Him Wrong, 1933

82. “According to the map, we’ve only gone 4 inches.” –Dumb and Dumber, 1994

83. “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers.” –Clerks, 1994

84. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” –Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, 1994

85. “If I had a dick, this is the part where I’d tell you to suck it.” –Lake Placid, 1999

86. “If we get any more white people in here, this is gonna be a suburb.” –Hairspray, 2007

87. “Oh, right, to call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs.” –A Fish Called Wanda, 1988

88. “When life gives you lemons, just say ‘fuck the lemons’, and bail.” –Forgetting Sarah Marshall, 2008

89. “I’m hallucinating! For a while, I thought the Care Bears were here!” –The Money Pit, 1986

90. “Nobody tosses a dwarf.” –The Lord of the Rings, 2001

91. “Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped, and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it.” –10 Things I Hate About You, 1999

92. “Exsqueeze me?” –Wayne’s World, 1992

93. “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.” –The Princess Bride, 1983

94. “You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.” –On the Waterfront, 1954

Funny movie quote from On The Waterfront.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

95. “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me. Aren’t you?” –The Graduate, 1967

96. “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape.” –Planet of the Apes, 1968

97. “You sit on a throne of lies.” –Elf, 2003

98. “You’re killin’ me, Smalls.” –The Sandlot, 1993

99. “What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.” –Cool Hand Luke, 1967

100. “Well, here’s to another nice mess you’ve gotten me into!” –Sons of the Desert, 1933

101. “Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!” –Auntie Mame, 1958

Related: The Best Art Jokes Ever Told

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.