40+ Funny Beef Jokes to Make You Go Moo

Beef refers to meat from cattle. It’s a versatile meat, as you can add it to many dishes. Read funny beef jokes for a laugh next time you have it.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Beef is one of the most popular meats. It comes from cattle and offers many ways to consume it.

You can make a burger or steak. You can also add it to spaghetti, tacos, or casserole.

In America, beef comes from more than 80 breeds of cattle.

Then, you can divide it into beef cuts. Examples include loin, rib, chuck, and flank.

Whether eating it or seeing a cow, read the following beef jokes for a laugh.

The ultimate list of beef jokes

1. What do you call a cow without legs?

Ground beef.

2. What do you call a twitching cow?

Beef jerky.

3. What do you get when you cross a knight with beef?

Sir Loin.

4. What do you call a cow with left legs shorter than the right?

Lean beef.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

5. Why couldn’t the cow carry a heavy load?

It’s not stroganoff.

6. Which composer only eats beef?


7. How do cows keep track of their fitness progress?

By taking beef-ore and after photos.

8. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

9. Why can’t cows be detectives?

They won’t go on steak-outs.

10. What do you get when you cross a tree with a cow?

A beef stick.

11. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a cow?

Roost beef.

12. Which steak temperature can talk to spirits?

A medium.

13. What’s a cow’s favorite major scale in music?

Beef-flat major.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

14. Why didn’t the cows talk to each other?

They had beef.

15. What do rappers and vegans have in common?

Fake beef.

16. Why don’t cows have money?

Farmers milk them dry.

17. How many Hindus eat beef?


18. What do ghosts put on roast beef?


19. What’s the opposite of ground beef?

High steaks.

20. What do you call a cow in the snow?

Chilli beef.

21. What happened to the lost beef shipment?

Nobody’s herd.

22. What do you call a steak after going to the doctor?

Cured meat.

23. Why do cows work so much?

To make ends meat.

24. Why can’t you use “beef stew” as your password?

It’s not stroganoff.

25. How often do people eat undercooked steak?

It’s rare.

26. What do you call a cow that wants to know things ahead of time?


27. What do cows call drinks?


28. How do you force a beef processor to quit?

Tell them to walk the flank.

Flank beef.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

29. What did the cow say after receiving a large bill?

This is steak-ering.

30. How does a cow encourage others to take a chance?

They say, “Risk it for the brisket.”

31. How do you open a beef delivery box?

Rib it open.

32. How does a cow take time off without traveling?

It has a steak-ation.

33. What do cows say about haters?

They hate us cause they Angus.

34. What do you call a cow without friends or company?


35. What do cows say to express gratitude?

Flank you.

36. What happened to the cow’s ship?

It shank.

37. What do you call it when you throw a cow?

Beef chuck.

Cow with a bell.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

38. What do you call a cow in East Asia?

Mongolian beef.

39. Why couldn’t the cow play with its friends?

It was grounded.

40. Where do cows go dancing?

The meat ball.

41. What do you get when you cross a cow with bread?

Meat loaf.

42. Where do cows eat lunch?

The calf-eteria.

Related: Hilarious Deer Puns

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.