Humor is an excellent part of love. Whether it’s an anniversary or you want to make your partner laugh, read the funniest love quotes.
Laughter makes relationships fun and puts a smile on your face. It’s a significant aspect of relationships.
If you’re ready to laugh, read the following love quotes.
You’ll find quotes about falling in love and being in a relationship or marriage.
Also, you’ll find hilarious and relatable quotes about emotions and feelings.
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Hilarious love quotes
1. “You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.” -Albert Einstein
2. “Love is being stupid together.” -Paul Valéry
3. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” -Will Ferrell
4. “I married for love. But the obvious side benefit of having someone around to find my glasses cannot be ignored.” -Cameron Esposito
5. “Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” -Phyllis Diller
6. “My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” -Winston Churchill
7. “Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.” -Ben Hecht
8. “Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.” -Jules Renard
9. “At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” -Plato
10. “Love will draw an elephant through a key-hole.” -Samuel Richardson
11. “Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” -Erma Bombeck
12. “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” -Socrates
13. “My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” -Jimmy Durante
14. “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” -Megan Mullally
15. “Love means not ever having to say you’re sorry.” -Erich Segal
16. “There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” -George Bernard Shaw
17. “The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship.” -Jackie Kennedy
18. “Do not seek the because – in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions.” -Anais Nin
19. “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” -Joan Crawford
20. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” -Henny Youngman
21. “We have a couple of rules in our relationship. The first rule is that I make her feel like she’s getting everything. The second rule is that I actually do let her have her way in everything. And, so far, it’s working.” -Justin Timberlake
22. “It is impossible to love and to be wise.” -Francis Bacon
23. “My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.” -Rita Rudner
24. “Falling in love is terrible. It makes you act foolish, like an idiot.” -Lemmy
25. “I love love, and I’m very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy tales everyone else had. I just noted that everyone’s mom was dead and real princesses get beheaded, so I just have a more realistic take on it.” -Amy Schumer
26. “Falling in love has no convenient time, it can happen anytime and anywhere.” -Konkona Sen Sharma
27. “I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.” -Elizabeth Evans
28. “Love is sharing your popcorn.” -Charles Schulz
29. “Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time.” -Chris Rock
30. “It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.” -Lucille Ball
31. “People should fall in love with their eyes closed.” -Andy Warhol
32. “Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.” -Mae West
33. “A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.” -Cher
34. “For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have their own bathroom. The end.” -Catherine Zeta-Jones
35. “As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.” -Ralphie May
36. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” -Carroll Bryant
37. “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.” -Rita Rudner
38. “Love doesn’t make the world go ’round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” -Franklin P. Jones
39. “I asked my dad once, ‘how did you and mum stay married for 33 years?’ and he said, ‘well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time.'” -Gwyneth Paltrow
40. “Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.” -Glenn Beck
41. “If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards.” -J.A. Redmerski
42. “Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.” -Christopher Marlowe
43. “Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There’s always something.” -Will Cuppy
44. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” -Groucho Marx
45. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” -Chris Rock
46. “If love is the answer, can you please rephrase the question?” -Lily Tomlin
47. “Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” -Lynda Barry
48. “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” -Tim Allen
49. “I love my husband, but no matter where we are, I make him sleep closest to the door so if anything happens, he gets murdered first.” -Jessica Valenti
50. “If you love them in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love them at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.” -Miles Davis
51. “Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women; a little bit of support and a little bit of freedom.” -Jerry Seinfeld
52. “A man’s main job is to protect his woman from her desire to ‘get bangs’ every other month.” -Dax Shepard
53. “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” -Jean Illsley Clarke
54. “He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.” -Mae West
55. “Love means having to say you’re sorry every fifteen minutes.” -John Lennon
56. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” -Richard Jeni
57. “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” -Henny Youngman
58. “The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it.” -Ann Bancroft
59. “In every good marriage, it pays sometimes to be a little deaf.” -Ruth Bader Ginsburg
60. “I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date-date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.” -Dave Attell
61. “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” -George Burns
62. “My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light.” -Rodney Dangerfield
63. “What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.” -Cindy Garner
64. “I am a very committed wife. And I should be committed, too – for being married so many times.” -Elizabeth Taylor
65. “Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” -Kathy Mohnke
66. “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.” -Joan Rivers
67. “True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.” -William Goldman
68. “I’m just a diaper-changing facility hooked up to a life-support system, but my wife, she’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner. She’s a human Denny’s all day long.” -Ryan Reynolds
69. “The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.” -Milton Berle
70. “Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.” -Bree Luckey
71. “I love you more than I think I should.” -Becca Fitzpatrick
72. “When you love somebody, you go deaf, dumb, and blind.” –The Way We Are, 2008
73. “When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.” -Mark Twain
74. “Falling in love is the best way to kill your heart because then it’s not yours anymore. It’s laid in a coffin, waiting to be cremated.” -Ville Valo
75. “Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.” -Tim Allen
76. “I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.” -Mitch Hedberg
77. “Falling in love was the easy part; planning a wedding – yikes!” -Niecy Nash
78. “I’m going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli.” -Michael J. Fox
79. “True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” -Mindy Kaling
80. “One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.” -Oscar Wilde
81. “Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good, too.” -Yogi Berra
82. “Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.” -Judith Viorst
83. “Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.” -W. Somerset Maugham
84. “You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.” -Jarod Kintz
85. “The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.” -Samuel Taylor Coleridge
86. “I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since.” -Arturo Toscanini
87. “For the first time in 12 years, John has said yes to my question of ‘does my breath stink’ – this is a special day.” -Chrissy Teigen
88. “How absurd and delicious it is to be in love with somebody younger than yourself. Everybody should try it.” -Barbara Pym
89. “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” –The Notebook, 2004
90. “In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.” -Helen Rowland
91. “An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.” -Agathe Christie
92. “Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.” -Helen Gurley Brown
93. “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love… I love… I love you.” –Pride and Prejudice, 2005
94. “Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old.” -John Ciardi
95. “If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.” -Lynda Barry
96. “Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man.” -Tammy Wynette
97. “My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside – Made in Taiwan.” -Leopold Fechtner
98. “She makes the bass drop… in my heart.” –The Good Place, 2016
99. “I’m getting married today. My only fear is that instead of ‘I do’ I’ll say ‘I do do.'” -Tig Notaro
100. “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” -Virginia Satir
101. “Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” -Ambrose Bierce
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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.