Shrek is one of the top movies of all time. It’s also full of hilarious moments. Unleash your inner ogre laugh with the funniest Shrek quotes.
The release year of Shrek was 2001. Over 20 years later, it remains one of the most popular movies.
While the movie’s outstanding, it’s based on the book Shrek! by William Steig.
It’s a story about Shrek’s journey with Donkey to rescue Princess Fiona.
Throughout the four films, there are countless hilarious moments.
The following are the funniest Shrek quotes to make you laugh.
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Hilarious Shrek quotes
1. “C’mon, princess, you’re not that ugly. All right, you are ugly. But you’re only like this at night. Shrek’s ugly 24/7.” -Donkey
2. “Some of you may die, but its a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” -Lord Farquaad
3. “I’m going to be a father, how did this happen?” -Shrek
4. “Someday, I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can’t find you or if I forget.” -Shrek
5. “This is gonna be fun. We’ll stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I’m making waffles.” -Donkey
6. “I just know, before this is over, I’m gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin’.” -Donkey
7. “Donkey, two things okay? Shut… up.” -Shrek
8. “I’m not a puppet. I’m a real boy.” -Pinocchio
9. “What kind of a knight are you?” -Princess Fiona
10. “Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty, must be a high school.” -Shrek
11. “Eat me.” -Gingerbread Man
12. “Well it’s no wonder you don’t have any friends.” -Shrek
13. “The battle is won. You may remove your helmet.” -Princess Fiona
14. “You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain’t never seen a donkey fly.” -Donkey
15. “What are you doing in my swamp?” -Shrek
16. “Wow, that was really scary and if you don’t mind me saying, if that don’t work, your breath will certainly get the job done.” -Donkey
17. “Ogres are like onions.” -Shrek
18. “There’s a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest! Don’t you find that a wee bit suspicious?” -Shrek
19. “Huh, celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?” -Donkey
20. “What are you doing? You know, you should sweep me off my feet out yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.” -Princess Fiona
21. “Don’t die, Shrek. And if you see any long tunnels, stay away from the light!” -Donkey
22. “Hey! I’m no one’s messenger boy, all right? I’m a delivery boy.” -Shrek
23. “You’re so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you’re afraid of your own feelings.” -Donkey
24. Princess Fiona: “You didn’t slay the dragon?” Shrek: “It’s on my to-do list. Now come on.”
25. “Do you think he’s maybe compensating for something?” -Shrek
26. “Man, you gotta warn somebody before you crack one like that. My mouth was open and everything.” -Donkey
27. “This is the part where you run away.” -Shrek
28. “You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now.” -Donkey
29. “Although she lives with seven other men, she’s not easy.” -Magic Mirror
30. “Then you gotta try a little tenderness! The chicks love that romantic crap.” -Donkey
31. “I live in a swamp! I put up signs! I’m a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do to get a little privacy?” -Shrek
32. “Wake up and smell the pheromones.” -Donkey
33. “What? You didn’t think you inherited your fighting skills from your father?” -Queen Lillian
34. “Oh, don’t feel bad, Shrek. Almost everybody who meets you wants to kill you.” -Donkey
35. “I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder.” -Donkey
36. “Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn’t COLOR-BLIND.” -Donkey
37. “Yeah, but it’s getting him to shut up that’s the trick.” -Shrek
38. “All right, nobody move! I got a dragon here, and I’m not afraid to use it! I’m a donkey on the edge!” -Donkey
39. “Lord Farquaad. He huffed, and he puffed… and he signed an eviction notice.” -Little Pig
40. “Look, I’m not the one with the problem, okay? It’s the world that seems to have a problem with ME! People take one look at me and go “Aargh! Help! Run! A big stupid ugly ogre!” They judge me before they even know me – that’s why I’m better off alone…” -Shrek
41. “You can’t do this to me, Shrek, I’m too young for you to die! Keep your feet elevated! Turn your head and cough! Does anybody know the Heimlich…?” -Donkey
42. “Well, technically, you’re not a king.” -Magic Mirror
43. “I’m not perfect, but I’m perfect for you.” -Shrek
44. “She’s as nasty as you are.” -Donkey
45. “No, I’m just uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling lake of lava!” -Donkey
46. “Now really, it’s rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?” -Lord Farquaad
47. “Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming?” -Shrek
48. “Don’t worry, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark until… No, wait. I’m still afraid of the dark.” -Donkey
49. “Hey, that’s my princess! Go find your own!” -Shrek
50. “You know what? Maybe there’s a good reason donkeys shouldn’t talk.” -Shrek
51. “Donkey, you have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.” -Shrek
52. “No, not the buttons… not my gumdrop buttons!” -Gingerbread Man
53. “Oh, Shrek. Don’t worry; things just seem bad because it’s dark and rainy and Fiona’s father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you. It’ll be better in the morning. You’ll see.” -Donkey
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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.