50+ Hilarious Butt Jokes to Make You Laugh Your Booty Off

The butt muscles allow you to walk and maintain an upright posture. While they’re essential, they can be funny. Read the best butt jokes.

Outline of a butt.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Butts are unique. You may find them attractive or gross.

Regardless of how you view butts, they make you human. The glutes allow you to walk and work against gravity.

Aside from being a critical aspect of your body, they’re perfect for humor.

The following are the funniest butt jokes to make you laugh.

The funniest butt jokes

1. What did the butt cheeks say after being sick of the nonsense?

We can stop this crap.

2. Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quacks.

3. What has two butts and kills people?

An assassin.

4. What do you call a zombie’s butt?

A dead end.

5. What do you call a ghost’s butt?

Boo-ty.

Ghost.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

6. What do you call the end of a banana?

The ban-anus.

7. What happens when you hit Dwayne Johnson’s butt?

You hit rock bottom.

8. What did one butt cheek say to the other?

Between you and me, something stinks.

9. Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It was stuck in a crack.

10. What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?

Ass-pirin.

11. People keep butt-dialing me.

It seems like only buttholes want to talk to me.

12. When do butts wake up?

At the crack of dawn.

13. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom.

14. What did the cannibal do after dumping its partner?

Wiped its butt.

15. What did the smallest butt say after holding back the rest of the group?

Sorry, I’m a little behind.

16. What happens if you cut off your right butt cheek?

You’re left behind.

17. What do you call it when one butt cheek is bigger than the other?

Ass-ymmetrical.

18. Why were the butt cheeks stuck?

They were glute together.

19. What do you call a reflective surface for your butt?

A rear view mirror.

20. Where can you get a new butt?

Ass-king for a friend.

21. What did the butt say after being late?

Butt-er late than never.

Butt.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

22. What do you call a butt massage on one cheek?

A half-ass job.

23. What do you call a Latina with a flat butt?

Bottomless Margarita.

24. I was caught staring at a cute girl’s butt.

Harassment a lot to me.

25. What did the butt say to the penis?

You’ve got some balls hanging around here.

26. Why did the pirate wear camouflage underwear?

To hide his booty.

27. Where does the butt go to make money?

It goes to twerk.

28. Why did the person carry a butt into the elevator?

To bring up the rear.

29. Rectum?

It nearly killed them.

30. What do you call a magnificent butt?

Ass-tounding.

31. Which holiday gives butts for presents?

Christm-ass.

32. What do you call a dream about butts?

A fant-ass-y.

Butt outline.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

33. How big was the butt?

Ass-tronomical.

34. How do you get a muscular butt in space?

Asteroids.

35. What side do butts prefer?

The backside.

36. Why did the butt get a slap?

It was being cheeky.

37. What do you call Nicki Minaj’s butt crack?

Silicone Valley.

38. Why do humans have two butt cheeks?

They make a great asset.

39. Why are charming pirates always the richest?

They get all the booty.

40. What’s the world’s biggest butt?

The bottom of the ocean.

41. What did one butt cheek say to the other?

What’s cracking?

42. What does a French person call bread in a butt?

A pain in the butt.

43. What’s a butt’s favorite electronics brand?

Tush-iba.

44. What did the dentist say to the butt?

Wow, that’s the largest cavity I’ve ever seen!

45. Why did Buddha pull coins out of his butt?

Change comes from within.

46. What do you call someone with two butts?

Biased.

47. Why did the kid ask their parents for a new butt?

Theirs had a crack in it.

Heart with a butt.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

48. What type of toilet paper do mathematicians prefer for wiping their butts?

Multi-ply.

49. What’s the last thing that goes through a fly’s head after hitting a windshield?

Its butt.

50. Is “buttcheeks” one word?

Or do you spread them?

51. How did the construction worker blame his butt?

It was asphalt.

52. What do you call an ox with a big butt?

Buttocks.

53. I’ve heard a lot of butt jokes.

Butt most of them are pretty crappy.

54. What did the butt say after waiting too long?

It’s a-butt time.

Related: Funny Winter Quotes About the Cold

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.

David Em.

David Em

David Em is the founder of Humor Living. He launched Humor Living to create a destination for you to visit anytime you need a laugh. Whether you’re looking for jokes, puns, memes, or funny stories, Humor Living is the place to be.