40+ Funny Time Quotes to Make You Laugh

Time is the progression of events from the past to the present to the future. It’s ongoing. So, slow down and laugh with funny time quotes.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

While time is ongoing, recording it dates back thousands of years. It’s the sequence of events.

It’s significant because it allows you to measure and compare durations.

Time is constant, but it can feel faster or slower at times.

Modern life is busy, and it seems like there’s no time. It’s essential to take breaks for productivity and well-being.

Slow down, take a break, and read the following funny time quotes for a laugh.

The ultimate list of funny time quotes

1. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.” -Charles M. Schulz

2. “Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted.” -John Lennon

3. “Time is a waste of money.” -Oscar Wilde

4. “How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?” -Dr. Seuss

5. “Time is a circus, always packing up and moving away.” -Ben Hecht

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

6. “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” -Will Rogers

7. “Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.” -Hector Berlioz

8. “Enjoy life. There’s plenty of time to be dead.” -Hans Christian Andersen

9. “We must use time as a tool, not as a couch.” -John F. Kennedy

10. “There’s never enough time to do it right, but there’s always enough time to do it over.” -Jack Bergman

11. “No man goes before his time – unless the boss leaves early.” -Groucho Marx

12. “The less one has to do, the less time one finds to do it in.” -Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

13. “Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.” -Ambrose Bierce

14. “Time is money, especially when you are talking to a lawyer or buying a commercial.” -Frank Dane

Clock and dollar sign.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

15. “There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time!” -Coco Chanel

16. “The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.” -Michael Altshuler

17. “Never waste any time you can spend sleeping.” -Frank Knight

18. “You may delay, but time will not.” -Benjamin Franklin

19. “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” -Bill Watterson

20. “Three o’clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.” -Jean-Paul Sartre

21. “Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.” -William Shakespeare

22. “If time travel is possible, where are the tourists from the future?” -Stephen Hawking

23. “You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.” -Bonnie Prudden

24. “Time is a game played beautifully by children.” -Heraclitus

25. “Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” -Coco Chanel

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26. “Time is a great healer but a poor beautician.” -Lucille S. Harper

27. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” -Douglas Adams

28. “So little time and so little to do.” -Oscar Levant

29. “I am definitely going to take a course on time management… just as soon as I can work it into my schedule.” -Louis E. Boone

30. “It takes a long time to become young.” -Pablo Picasso

31. “Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” -Steven Wright

32. “Only the guy who isn’t rowing has time to rock the boat.” -Jean-Paul Sartre

33. “To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time.” -Leonard Bernstein

34. “We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.” -Vince Lombardi

35. “Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” -Douglas Adams

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36. “I don’t mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I’ve saved all year.” -Victor Borge

37. “I’ve been on a calendar, but I’ve never been on time.” -Marilyn Monroe

38. “Time is the longest distance between two places.” -Tennessee Williams

39. “Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” -William Penn

40. “The past always looks better than it was. It’s only pleasant because it isn’t here.” -Finley Peter Dunne

41. “If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?” -John Wooden

42. “Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of 30.” -Robert Frost

Related: Hilarious Quotes About Graduation

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.