110 Funny Dry Humor Jokes to Make You Laugh So Hard

Dry humor is also called deadpan humor. It’s all about a delivery without emotions. Read the funniest dry humor jokes that’ll leave you laughing.

Laughing emoji.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

There are many types of humor. It’s perfect because you’ll find different things funny.

One of the most popular types is deadpan humor. It’s about removing emotions and letting the joke do the talking.

By relying on the lack of emotion and facial expressions, it makes it funnier.

Humor is fantastic because it reduces stress and anxiety. It also increases inspiration.

So, get a good laugh with the following dry humor jokes.

Related: Hilarious Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue Jokes

The best dry humor jokes

1. Why do people hate thinking about the past?

It brings back so many memories.

Dry humor joke about the past.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

2. What kind of shoes do frogs wear?

Open toad sandals.

3. What do you call a song about tortillas?

It’s a wrap.

4. What do you call a joke that’s not funny?

A sentence.

5. What’s the best way to eat consciously?

Try not to lose consciousness while eating.

6. Imagine walking into a bar with a long line of people waiting to hit you.

That’s the punchline.

7. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippo is really heavy, and a Zippo is a little lighter.

8. Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo’ drizzle.

9. Why did the old man fall into a well?

He couldn’t see that well.

10. Why do eggs avoid dry humor jokes?

It makes them crack up.

11. Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own question?

I do.

12. I’m thinking about taking up meditation.

I figure it’s better than sitting around and doing nothing.

Dry humor joke about meditation.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

13. What do you call someone without a body or nose?

Nobody knows.

14. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?

A meltdown.

Related: What did one snowman say to the other?

15. Did you hear about the construction joke?

They’re still working on it.

16. I used to be addicted to soap.

But I’m clean now.

17. Why’s the graveyard so crowded?

People are dying to get in.

18. Why shouldn’t you eat a clock if you’re in a rush?

It’s time-consuming.

19. I used to play the piano by ear.

Now, I use my hands.

20. That awkward moment when your parents keep telling you not to jump on the bed, but what do you hear at 11 PM?

Your parents jumping on the bed.

21. I was going to tell you a chemistry joke.

But I don’t think it’ll get a reaction.

22. I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.

Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.

23. How much does it cost for Santa to park his sleigh?

Nothing, it’s on the house.

24. Why shouldn’t you criticize someone before walking a mile in their shoes?

You’ll be a mile away and have their shoes when you criticize them.

25. What did one stranger say to the other?

Nothing because they don’t know each other.

26. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

27. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Getting shot.

28. I still remember my grandfather’s last question before kicking the bucket.

He asked, “How far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

29. Mary had a little lamb.

Then, the doctor fainted.

30. What did the plumber say to the singer?

Nice pipes.

31. Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?

The factory burned down. Thankfully, no soles were lost.

32. Two guys walk into a bar.

The third guy ducks.

33. Did you hear about the Italian chef?

I heard he pasta-way.

34. Why can’t dinosaurs laugh?

Because they’re all dead.

35. What do you call a pencil sharpener that can’t sharpen pencils?


36. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.

Then, it’s a soap opera.

37. How do you get a squirrel to like you?

Act like a nut.

38. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?


39. What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn’t a dad?

Faux pa.

40. I hate Russian dolls.

They’re so full of themselves.

41. It’s a penny for your thoughts.

But you have to put your two cents in.

Dry humor joke about a penny for your thoughts.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

42. What do you call a bear without ears?


43. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don’t know, and I don’t care.

44. What happens when a coroner dies?

They still go to work.

45. How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

46. What do you call banana peel shoes?


47. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.

48. What’s the leading cause of dry skin?


49. Where can you get used paint?

On a house.

50. What did The Rock say when the waiter offered him a box for his leftovers?

I’m not much of a boxer, but I’ll wrestle you for it.

51. The wedding was so beautiful.

Even the cake was in tiers.

52. What did the janitor say while jumping out of the closet?


53. What do you call someone who can’t stand?


54. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

He just woke up.

55. What’s the only thing flat earthers have to fear?

Sphere itself.

56. RIP, boiled water.

You’ll be mist.

57. Why can’t you trust stairs?

They’re always up to something.

58. What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

59. I decided to sell my vacuum.

It was just gathering dust.

60. Why aren’t fragrance advertisements ever confusing?

They always make scents.

61. A limbo champion walks into a bar.

He loses.

62. Do you know what they say?


63. Why did the raccoon need mouthwash?

Its breath smelled like garbage.

64. Parallel lines have so much in common.

It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

65. I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand, I’m fine.

66. What do muffins say in the oven?

Dang, it’s hot in here.

67. What do you call a communist dry erase pen?

A marks-ist.

68. What did the melon say when its lawn was dry?

It’s time to watermelon.

69. Everywhere is walking distance.

If you have the time.

70. When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

71. Why are frogs so happy?

They eat whatever bugs them.

72. How do you tease plants?

Water them with ice cubes.

73. Where can you buy soup in bulk?

The stock market.

74. Where do you take someone who was injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

The I.C.U.

75. I took a lie detector test.

No, I didn’t.

76. I used to work for a helium factory.

The boss still speaks highly of me.

77. What kind of shoes do robbers wear?


78. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Then, it’d be a foot.

79. Take your age and add five years to it.

That’s your age in five years.

80. What do French fries do when they meet after a long time?


81. What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

82. What did one wall say to the other?

I’ll meet you at the corner.

83. What did one Kenyan say to the other?

I don’t know because I don’t speak Swahili.

84. Why did my friend fall to the ground?

He passed out.

85. What did the pirate do before burying the treasure?

Dug a hole.

86. Do you want to know something that’ll make you smile?

Your facial muscles.

Dry humor joke about facial muscles.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

87. Where was the Constitution signed?

At the bottom.

88. I asked my dog, “What’s ten minus ten.”

He said nothing.

89. What does garlic do before getting into the shower?

Take its cloves off.

90. Why didn’t I go to the party?

I wasn’t invited.

91. What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo?

This ain’t my first rodeo.

92. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving.

You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

93. What did the driver say after losing their truck?

Where’s my truck?

94. What did the flowers do at a wedding as the bride walked down the aisle?

They rose.

95. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a keyboard?

The space bar.

96. Why do people use selfie sticks?

To have a good, long look at themselves.

97. What can you do with a dry orange?

Nothing, it’s juiceless.

98. NASA is investigating Mars because it used to be warm and wet. Now, it’s dry and cold.

My guess is seven years of marriage.

99. What does an organ donor do after dying?

Mingles in the crowd.

100. Do you know why I threw away my can opener?

It was more of a can’t opener.

101. What did the fish say after swimming into a wall?


102. Did you hear about the butter rumor?

Never mind, I shouldn’t go around spreading it.

103. What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky.

104. Someone stole my mood ring.

I don’t know how I feel about it.

105. Why can’t you trust an atom?

They make up everything.

106. How do you kill a mime?

With a silencer.

107. What do you call a vest if you don’t have arms?

A jacket.

Dry humor joke about a vest.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

108. What does the Dalai Lama say when he walks into a pizza shop?

Can you make me one with everything?

109. My new pet parrots talks.

But it never said, “I’m hungry,” so it died.

110. If a cow laughed.

Would milk come out of her nose?

Related: Hilarious Miami Jokes to Make You Laugh

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.