100+ Pirate Jokes That Arrre Too Funny

Pirates attack and rob ships at sea. Their life and language make them popular in entertainment. Read funny pirate jokes for a good laugh.

Pirate hat.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Ahoy, maties! Arr! Avast, ye! The Golden Age of Piracy was from 1650 to 1726.

It was a time when pirates made a living by stealing from merchant and military vessels.

Several pirates left significant legacies. Examples include Blackbeard, Anne Bonny, Captain Kidd, Calico Jack, and Benjamin Hornigold.

Whether you’re a fan of pirates or know someone who is, read the following pirate jokes for a good laugh.

Hilarious pirate jokes

1. What’s a pirate’s favorite snack?

Chips Ahoy!

2. How do you know if a pirate chicken wrote a treasure map?

Eggs marks the spot.

3. Why didn’t the pirate learn the alphabet?

They got stuck at C.

4. What did the pirate say the year after his 79th birthday?

Aye matey years old.

Skull and swords.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

5. What’s Apple’s newest device for pirates?

The iPatch.

6. What do pirates do with old ships?

They have a y-arrr-d sale.

7. Why couldn’t the pirates play cards?

The captain was standing on the deck.

8. Why do pirates take vacations?

They need arrr and arrr.

9. Why was the pirate ship so cheap?

It was on sail.

10. What did the pirate say after leaving his wooden peg in the freezer?

Shiver me timbers.

11. What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?

The plank.

12. Where did Captain Hook get his hook?

The second-hand store.

13. Why don’t pirates shower before walking the plank?

They’re going to wash up on shore later.

14. What do you call a pirate with two eyes and legs?

A rookie.

15. How do you make a pirate furious?

Take away the P.

16. How much did the pirate pay for piercings?

A buck-an-ear.

17. Where do pirates buy drawing supplies?

The arrr-t store.

18. How do you save a pirate that almost drowned?

Perform CP-arrr.

19. How many sailors are pirates?


20. What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a song?

The hook.

21. What do pirates do while communicating?

They make aye contact.

22. How much did the pirate pay for a peg and hook?

An arm and a leg.

23. What do you call a pirate that likes to skip school?

Captain Hooky.

24. What kind of music do pirates like?

Arrr & B.

25. Why are pirates healthy?

They get a lot of vitamin sea.

26. What do you call a pirate that thinks they’re better than everyone else?


27. Why were the pirates screaming at each other?

They were arrr-guing.

28. What do pirates do at a pool?


29. Who do pirates reach out to for help finding treasure?

The X-Men.

Treasure map.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

30. What kind of phones do pirates use?

Aye phones.

31. What’s a pirate’s favorite camera brand?


32. What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?

The guit-arrr.

33. What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?

High Cs.

34. To err is human.

To arrr is pirate.

35. What did the pirates say after reaching their destination?

We’ve arrr-ived.

36. Why are pirates good at math?

They’re always trying to find X.

37. Who makes wooden pegs for pirates?


38. Why aren’t pirates good at golf?

They keep hooking the ball.

39. How did the pirate feel after making a mistake in front of everyone?


40. How do pirates apologize?

Aye am s-arrr-y.

41. Where do pirates learn to fight?

M-arrr-tial arts class.

42. What do pirates see when they look up at night?


43. What’s a pirate’s favorite essential oil?


44. What did the famous pirate say when getting onto an abandoned ship?

Anne Bonny here?

Pirate hat.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

45. What’s a pirate’s favorite country?


46. Have you heard of any good pirate jokes?

Neither have aye.

47. Why can’t pirates fire cannons from land?

They only cannon the ship.

48. What happened to Blackbeard after falling into the Red Sea?

He got marooned.

49. What’s a pirate’s favorite weapon aside from a sword?

A bow and Sparrow.

50. What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?

Booty and the Beast.

51. Where do pirates grow vegetables?

The g-arrr-den.

52. Why did the sailor become a pirate?

Pier pressure.

53. What do pirates wear for protection?


54. Where do pirates get produce?

The m-arrr-ket.

55. Where do pirates go to play games?

The arrr-cade.

56. What do you call it when a pirate sets a ship on fire?


57. What do pirates say when making bets?

Doubloon or nothing.

58. What’s a pirate’s favorite game show?


Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

59. What do pirates say to someone they think they’ve seen before?

You look famili-arrr.

60. How do pirates cool down?

By using aye-ce.

61. What does it take to raise a child on a pirate ship?

It takes a pillage.

62. Why did the pirate laugh at the jokes?

They’re hil-arrr-ious.

63. Where do pirates go to retire?


64. What do pirates read online?


65. What do pirates say before leaving?


66. What do you call a ship that pirates want to attack?

The t-arrr-get.

67. What do pirates smoke?

A cig-arrr.

68. Why did the pirate join Gold’s Gym?

To improve his booty.

69. Who was the most frugal pirate?

Barry D. Treasure.

70. Where do pirates keep valuable items?

In a j-arrr.

71. Why did the pirate wear a suit and tie?

He had a cor-pirate meeting.

72. What would Santa say if he were a pirate?

Yo ho ho.

73. What’s a pirate’s favorite paper towel brand?


74. What do pirates say when they’re thinking about what to steal?

I plunder what to do next.

75. What do pirates say when they can’t figure something out?

This is h-arrr-d.

76. What do pirates say when they’re being chased?

Run avast as you can.

77. Where do pirates keep their ships?

The h-arrr-bor.

78. Where do pirates eat cake and ice cream?

On a dessert island.

79. What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?

A swordfish.

80. What does a pirate say when things don’t go their way?

Ship happens.

81. What’s a pirate’s least favorite vegetable?


82. What do pirates go for a drink?

The sandbar.

83. Why do pirates walk the plank?

They don’t have dogs.

84. What do you call a pirate without arms or legs?

An expert.

85. What’s the best name for a pirate’s dog?


86. How do pirates know if they need glasses?

By taking an aye exam.

87. What does a pirate Jedi say?

Matey force be with you.

Pirate flag.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

88. What does a pirate’s dog do?


89. What does a pirate say after letting someone go?

You’re off the hook.

90. Why do pirates love watching TV shows?

They get hooked.

91. What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunk pirate?

One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.

92. Where can you find a pirate who lost their wooden legs?

Right where ye left them.

93. What do pirates wear in the winter?

Long Johns.

94. What’s a pirate’s favorite doll?


95. Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they arrr.

96. What’s a pirate’s favorite Star Wars character?


97. Why do pirates always live life to the fullest?

They know how to seas the day.

Pirate ship.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

98. What happens to pirates without food?

They st-arrr-ve.

99. What did the ocean say to the pirate?

Nothing. It just waved.

100. What does a pirate wear on Halloween?

A pumpkin patch.

101. What kind of movies do pirates watch?

Rated Arrr ones.

102. What does the pirate say after catching someone hiding?

I sea you.

103. What do pirates drink in May?


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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.