55 Funny Italian Jokes to Make You Laugh

Italy’s known for its art, culture, food, and architecture. Whether visiting or a fan of the country, read funny Italian jokes for a good laugh.

Flag of Italy.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Italy’s a beautiful European country. The formation of modern Italy dates back to 1861. But its history goes back much further.

The country’s top cities include Rome, Venice, Florence, and Tuscany.

You’ll find outstanding architecture, food, and friendly people.

If you’re ready to laugh, read the following Italian jokes.

They’re perfect for a vacation in Italy or to share with Italian friends or family.

The best Italian jokes

1. If a normal DNA structure is a double helix, what’s an Italian’s DNA structure?


Three pieces of rotini.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

2. What do you call the rough parts of Italy?

The spa-ghetto.

3. Did you hear about the Italian chef?

I heard he pasta-way.

4. Where does pepperoni go on vacation?

The Leaning Tower of Pizza.

5. What do people do when visiting Italy?

They Rome around.

6. If normal blood has plasma and blood cells, what does Italian blood have?

Marinara sauce.

7. How do you get to destinations in Italy quickly?

Drive pasta.

8. What do you call an Italian without hands?


9. What do you call a fake spaghetti noodle?

An im-pasta.

10. How do Italians burn 2,000 calories a day?

By leaving the lasagna in the oven.

11. What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.

12. How do Italians tell their kids to stop messing around?

Don’t be Sicily.

13. What did everyone say when the Italian said he could eat 20 large bowls of spaghetti?

That’s im-pasta-ble.

14. Why are Italians good at making coffee?

They’re good at espresso themselves.

15. Why do couples go to Italy?

For a Rome-antic getaway.

16. Why do tourists always shorten their itinerary in Italy?

They cannoli do so much on one vacation.

17. How do you borrow bicycles in Italy?

Look for a sign that says, “Bicycle Florence.”

18. Why do Italians only talk on video chat?

So you can see their hands moving.

Italian hand gesture.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

19. Do you know how Italians feel about ghosts?

I’m not Alfredo no ghost.

20. Why do Italians gain weight when they’re stressed?

They always risotto food.

21. Where do Italians go in the United States?

Tony. To NY.

22. What do Italians say when they haven’t seen each other in a long time?

I tiramisù so much.

23. What do Italians say when they’re surprised?

I’m Bologna-way.

24. How do you differentiate between an Italian and a tourist for a meeting?

Italians will show up late.

25. What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?


26. How do Italians refer to small insects?


27. Why did the tourists have to rush through the sights in Italy?

They Verona time crunch.

28. What do you call an extraterrestrial Italian?


29. How do you ask about an event in Italy?

Venice the event?

30. What do you call an Italian on a tour?


31. Why can you rely on an Italian for help?

If they can’t help, Genoa guy.

32. What do you call a dog in Italy?


33. What’s the difference between an Italian grandmother and an elephant?

Fifty pounds, and a black dress.

34. Where do people take vacations that revolve around food?


35. Why did the Italian stand at a slant?

They were Italy-cized.

Italian flag.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

36. How do Italians ask for another glass of wine?

I’ll have Prosecco-nds.

37. How do you keep an Italian quiet?

Wrap duct tape around their hands.

38. How do Italians go bowling?

With a meat-bowl.

39. What does an Italian say before a fight?

You want a pizza me?

40. How do Italians ask what’s on your mind?

A penne for your thoughts.

41. What do deaf people and Italians have in common?

Both talk with their hands.

42. Where does spaghetti go dancing?

The meatball.

43. Why couldn’t the Italian open the door?

They had gnocchi.

44. How does an Italian connect with spirits?

By using a Luigi board.

45. What kind of person orders an Italian sub?

An Italian dom.

46. How do you say goodbye to an Italian?

Pasta la vista.

Pasta on a plate.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

47. Why do Italian men have mustaches?

To look like their mothers.

48. Did you hear about the winner of the Italian beauty contest?

Me neither.

49. What do you call an Italian suppository?

An innuendo.

50. How does every Italian joke start?

By looking over your shoulder.

51. What do you call a Roman with a cold?

Julius Sneezer.

52. Why did the mafia cross the road?

Forget about it.

53. What do you call an Italian hooker?

A pasta-tute.

Hand holding Italian flag.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

54. What do Italians wear as military helmets?

Strainer pots.

55. Why don’t Italian men need the internet?

Their wife knows everything.

Related: Funny Biology Puns Scientifically Proven to Make You LOL

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.