Bears are iconic mammals with eight species. Whether seeing one in the outdoors or the zoo, read hilarious bear jokes for a good laugh.
The eight bear species make up the family Ursidae.
They’re widespread around the world. Most are in the Northern Hemisphere, and some are in the Southern Hemisphere.
Bears are unique, intelligent, and curious. They can smell things miles away and have comparable eyesight to humans.
Bears can also be funny. You may see one scratching its back against a tree or walking on a tree like a tightrope.
If you’re ready to laugh, read the following bear jokes.
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Funny bear jokes
1. What do you call a bear without shoes?
Bear-foot.
2. What kind of bear wins a beauty pageant?
A bear-y pretty one.
3. What do you call a bear without teeth?
A gummy bear.
4. Why do pandas like old movies?
They’re in black and white.
5. How do bears stay fit?
They do bear-obics.
6. What’s as big as a bear but weighs nothing?
A bear’s shadow.
7. What do bears use to catch fish?
Their bear hands.
8. What do teddy bears say after a meal?
I’m stuffed.
9. Why do bears travel light?
They only bring the bear necessities.
10. Where do polar bears vote?
The North Pole.
11. What do bears order at a Mexican restaurant?
Bear-ritos.
12. What did the bear say when it couldn’t handle it anymore?
This is un-bear-able.
13. What kind of bear works as a dentist?
A molar bear.
14. How much work does a lazy bear do?
Bear-ly any.
15. How do bears stay cool in the summer?
They turn on the bear conditioner.
16. What do you call a chaotic situation full of bears?
Panda-monium.
17. Why do bears have thick coats?
Fur protection.
18. Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
19. Where do bears go to get a haircut?
The bar-bear-shop.
20. Where can you find bears in Germany?
Bear-lin.
21. What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
22. Why can bears do whatever the want?
They have li-bear-ty.
23. What kind of fruits do bears like to eat?
Bear-ries.
24. Why did the bear get fired from its job?
It was doing the bear minimum.
25. What do you call a bear that shares negative events?
The bearer of bad news.
26. Why are polar bears cheap to have as pets?
They only live on ice.
27. Why couldn’t the bear enter the bear club?
It didn’t have a mem-bear-ship.
28. What do you call a bear that does everything intentionally?
Deli-bear-ate.
29. What’s the best way to apologize to a bear?
To bear your heart and soul.
30. Why do bears go thrifting?
They love a good bear-gain.
31. How do bears hide things?
They bear-y it.
32. What do bears feel when they exercise?
The bear-n.
33. What kind of cereal do polar bears eat?
Ice Krispies.
34. What do you call a freezing polar bear?
A polar brrr.
35. What happens when you tell a bear jokes?
They bear-st with laughter.
36. What did the bear’s face turn red?
It was em-bear-assed.
37. Where do polar bears go on a date?
The snow ball.
38. What do you call a wet bear?
A drizzly bear.
39. Did you hear about the hiker that was killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
40. Which bear never grows up?
Peter Panda.
Related: Why’s Peter Pan always flying?
41. What does a turkey and a teddy bear have in common?
They both have stuffing.
42. Why do bears wear sunscreen?
So they don’t get sun-bear-nt.
43. What do you call a bear that’s also a thief?
A bear-glar.
44. Why do bears have fur coats?
They’d look weird in ski jackets.
45. Why did the bear submit receipts to its boss?
To get a reim-bear-sement.
46. What do you call a bear that lives in Florida?
A solar bear.
47. How do bears get to a destination?
By bear-plane.
48. What’s a bear’s favorite chemical element?
Bear-ium.
49. What do you call a bear that chops wood?
A lum-bear-jack.
50. What do young female bears play with?
Bear-bie dolls.
51. What couldn’t the bear get to the other side?
There was a bear-rier.
52. What do you call a bear that makes coffee?
A bear-ista.
53. What’s a bear’s favorite drink?
A root bear float.
54. What kind of shoes do bears wear?
Bear Jordans.
55. What kind of car do rich bears drive?
Lam-bear-ghinis.
56. What do artistic bears draw?
Self-paw-traits.
57. Where do baby bears keep their belongings?
In cub-bies.
58. Who’s a bear’s favorite playwright and poet?
William Shakes-bear.
59. Why do bears wear tank tops?
They have the right to bear arms.
60. What kind of bear serves alcoholic beverages?
A bear-tender.
61. What do baby bears eat for dessert?
Cub-cakes.
62. What do bears with crooked teeth need?
Bear-aces.
63. What do bears use to carry a lot of food?
A wheel-bear-row.
64. How do bears stop a movie?
Press the paws button.
65. Why do polar bears eat for lunch?
Ice burgers.
66. What do you call a pair of baby bears?
A cub-le.
67. Why did the bears stop letting new baby bears into the family?
They reached cub-acity.
68. How do bears find places to stay on vacation?
They use Bear-bnb.
69. Why did the bear need navigation?
It lost its bearings.
70. What’s a bear’s favorite piece of cookware?
A panda.
71. What do bears call the day they were born?
Their bear-thday.
72. Where do bears watch basketball games?
At the bear-ena.
73. Why did the baby bear stare at the painting?
It was cub-tivating.
74. What do you call a bear that’s not able to do something?
In-cub-able.
75. What do you call a bear that thinks it’s more important than everyone else?
Bear-rogant.
76. What does a bear say before playing the drums?
Panda one, panda two.
77. What do you call a bear that just woke up?
Bear-ly awake.
78. What did the bear say when there was a delay?
Bear with me.
79. Why do bears like candles?
They’re bear-omatic.
80. What kind of coffee do bears drink?
Cub-uccinos.
81. Where do bears go for a weekend getaway?
A cub-in.
82. How does a bear compliment his girlfriend?
You’re bear-fect.
83. What do you call it when a bear makes a mistake?
A bear-ror.
84. What do you call a bear with too much energy?
Hy-bear.
85. What’s a bear’s favorite part of a train?
The cub-oose.
86. What do bears use for storage?
A cub-inet.
87. What’s a bear’s favorite thing about amusement parks?
Bum-bear cars.
88. What do you call a stylish and handsome bear?
Dap-bear.
89. Why did the bear read a dictionary and thesaurus?
To improve its vo-cub-ulary.
90. What do you call a perfect baby bear?
Impec-cub-le.
91. What does a bear say to get the others to hurry up?
Panda-le!
92. What does a bear spray before a date?
Bear-fume.
93. What do bears read every morning?
The newspa-bear.
94. What do you call a polar bear signing a contract?
Sealing the deal.
95. What do polar bears add to food?
Chilly sauce.
96. What does a cub get from its parents before going somewhere?
Bear-mission.
97. What does a bear scientist do?
Run ex-bear-iments.
98. What do you call a bear’s boss?
The su-bear-visor.
99. Why couldn’t the cub leave its mom?
It couldn’t bear it.
100. What do you call a bear with a successful business?
Pros-bear-ous.
101. What do you call a bear that doesn’t give up?
Bear-sistent.
102. What do you call a convincing bear?
Bear-suasive.
103. Why did the bear go to the doctor?
For an o-bear-ation.
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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.