Good and bad bosses have one thing in common, funny moments. Read hilarious boss jokes to make you and all your coworkers laugh.
Bosses and managers are an essential part of the workplace.
A good boss leads with optimism, transparency, and integrity. But not all bosses are the same.
Whether you love or hate yours, read the following boss jokes for a good laugh.
It’ll also make your coworkers, boss, and boss’s boss laugh. They’re relatable and hilarious.
Funny boss jokes
1. Boss: Are you good at using PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
Me: Word.
2. I complimented my boss on his new Lamborghini.
My boss said, “If you work hard, put all of your hours in, and strive for excellence, I’ll get another one next year.”
3. My boss said, “This is the third time you’ve been late this week. Do you know what that means?”
I replied, “It’s Wednesday?”
4. My boss told me to have a good day.
So, I went home.
5. What does a boss say when you accuse them of stealing your idea?
They say, “It was my idea to use your idea.”
6. What do you say when your boss tells a joke?
Haha-give-me-a-raise-haha.
7. What do you tell your boss when they say they’ve been looking for you?
Good employees are hard to find.
8. My boss said that my math skills are average.
That’s just mean.
9. How many executives does it take to change a light bulb?
None because they like to keep their employees in the dark.
10. My boss asked me to start my presentation with humor.
So, I put my paycheck on the first slide.
11. My boss calls me the computer.
It wasn’t a compliment. It’s because I go to sleep after 15 minutes if left unattended.
12. How are Christmas and work similar?
You do all of the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets the credit.
13. What’s the worst thing your boss can ask you as soon as you’re off the clock?
Can I ask you for a favor?
14. I only went to my boss’s funeral to whisper.
I said, “Who’s thinking outside the box now?”
15. My boss asked me why I’m always sick on weekdays.
I said, “I have a weekend immune system.”
16. What do you do if your boss keeps emailing you about your work?
Reply with, “Unsubscribe.”
17. What’s the best way to criticize your boss?
Do it quietly so they can’t hear you.
18. What did the can crusher tell their boss?
I quit. This is soda-pressing.
19. I told my boss that I wanted an increase in my paycheck.
My next one had a larger font.
20. I heard my boss say I was worth paying attention to.
He was telling a security guard.
21. My boss said that I intimidate my coworkers.
So, I stared at him until he apologized.
22. Why did the barista get fired?
Their boss said they have no filter.
23. How do you make people think you’re the boss?
Stand around and do nothing.
24. My boss said he races boats.
I said, “Wow, you must be a fast swimmer.”
25. Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Me: No, because there’s no proof of it.
Boss: Well, there is now.
Me: How?
Boss: You said yesterday you had to leave for your uncle Jim’s funeral. Well, your uncle Jim came here looking for you.
26. What did the donut maker say to their boss?
I quit because I’m tired of the hole business.
27. What’s the golden rule of a job?
The boss’s jokes are always funny.
28. My boss asked why I thought I needed a raise.
I said, “Two companies are after me. The electricity company and the water company.”
29. What do you call the boss at Old MacDonald’s Farm?
The CIEIO.
30. Why don’t managers get breaks?
It would take too long to retrain them.
31. My boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We’ll see about that.
32. My boss threatened to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch that it might be me.
33. After walking into the office, my boss gave me a brochure for anger management.
I just lost it.
34. What does a clean desk mean?
A cluttered drawer.
35. Boss: Send me a joke.
Me: I’m working right now. I’ll send one later.
Boss: Good one! Send me another one.
36. My manager told me not to worry about a raise because money won’t make me happy.
I just want a chance to prove that it’s true.
37. What’s the definition of a power struggle?
Your boss has the power, and you have the struggle.
38. I told my boss that I’m a great multitasker.
I can procrastinate, waste time, and be unproductive at the same time.
39. My boss made the office paperless.
It was great until I went to the bathroom.
40. What do your boss and slinky have in common?
Both are fun to watch tumbling down the stairs.
41. Why did the boss fire the calendar factory employee?
They took too many days off.
42. I have a joke about my boss.
First, I have to overwork myself.
43. After an argument with my boss, I quit my job at the helium factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
44. My boss said I need to make fewer mistakes on the job.
So, I started doing less work.
45. What’s the best advice to give a new boss?
If you’re in charge, ponder. If you’re in doubt, mumble. If you’re in trouble, delegate.
46. What’s the best way to make a long story short?
Have the boss walk in.
47. My boss fired me for making too many Asian jokes.
It was the end of my Korea.
48. I quit my job after my boss started paying me with vegetables.
I couldn’t live off that celery.
49. They say no one goes before their time.
If that’s true, why does my boss always leave early?
50. I’m not going back to work until my boss takes back what he said.
He said, “You’re fired.”
51. My boss declined my time off request.
I already booked my flight. So, I hope she comes up with something.
52. My boss told me to attach two pieces of wood.
I nailed it.
53. To err is human.
To blame someone else for your mistakes shows management potential.
Related: Funny Retirement Jokes
Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.