Mothers are incredible. They’re strong, loving, and supportive. Whether it’s Mother’s Day or an average day, laugh with funny mom quotes.
Moms deserve appreciation all the time. Mother’s Day is a day to do something special.
Motherhood is a dynamic process. It’s beautiful, stressful, and a joy.
So, make your mom, grandma, or motherly figure laugh with the following funny mom quotes.
Related: Funny Happy Birthday Card Messages for Your Sister
Funny mom quotes
1. “My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” -Mark Twain
2. “Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.” -Aristotle
3. “Happy Mother’s Day! No matter what life throws at you, at least you don’t have ugly children.” -Unknown
4. “It’s not easy being a mom. If it were, dad would do it.” -Unknown
5. “My mother thinks I am the best. And I was raised to always believe what my mother tells me.” -Diego Maradona
6. “Just because I’m a mom doesn’t mean I care.” -Unknown
7. “Mom, you were right about everything.” -Unknown
8. “The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.” -Jessica Lange
9. “Happy Mother’s Day to someone who did a great job raising her children and husband.” -Unknown
10. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” -Erma Bombeck
11. “Happy Mother’s Day! Sorry, my sibling is a disappointment, but at least you have me.” -Unknown
12. “When you’re a mom, you need sparkle to compensate for the light inside of you that has died.” -Ali Wong
13. “Mom, I just want to say that I turned out perfect.” -Unknown
14. “Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.” -Tina Fey
15. “My mom raised us like we were still in the Philippines. She tried to cure everything at home like a real Filipino woman. You had to die to go to the hospital. My mom cured everything with Vicks VapoRub. I should’ve died nine times when I was a kid!” -Jo Koy
16. “Happy Mother’s Day! Out of all my parents, you’re definitely in my top two.” -Unknown
17. “My nickname for my mom was ‘The Compass.'” -Dane Cook
18. “The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” – Calvin Trillin
19. “I know how to do anything, I’m a mom.” -Roseanne Barr
20. “When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” -Erma Bombeck
21. “I’d like to be the ideal mother, but I’m too busy raising my kids.” -Unknown
22. “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” -Lane Olinghouse
23. “Silence is golden. Unless you have kids, then silence is just suspicious.” -Unknown
24. “Mom is an unpaid therapist with a built-in lie detector. Approach with caution.” -Unknown
25. “Happy Mother’s Day! Thank you for giving me life and not taking it back during my teen years.” -Unknown
26. “I hope your Mother’s Day is more pleasant than labor.” -Unknown
27. “It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn’t finish…” -Carrie Underwood
28. “Idk if I just ate a clump of pesto or one of my kids boogers.” -Nicole Polizzi
29. “Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.” -Tina Feys
30. “Why don’t kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?” -Alyson Hannigan
31. “Mom, I love you, even though I’ll never accept your friend request.” -Unknown
32. “Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it.” -Unknown
33. “No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too.” -Chrissy Teigen
34. “An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.” -Spanish Proverb
35. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” -Nora Ephron
36. “Motherhood is basically finding activities for children in three-hour pockets of time for the rest of your life.” -Mindy Kaling
37. “I always say if you aren’t yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them.” -Reese Witherspoon
38. “I used to give my friends who have kids advice all the time, and they would look at me like I had three heads. And then, when I had two, I literally apologized to all my friends.” -Jennifer Lopez
39. “Motherhood: feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties.” -Unknown
40. “My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” -Buddy Hackett
41. “Once you’re a mom, you’re always a mom. It’s like riding a bike. You never forget” -Taraji P. Henson
42. “Happy Mother’s Day! I’d like to apologize for years 13 through 21.” -Unknown
43. “A mother is the person you can always call to see how long chicken lasts in the fridge.” -Unknown
44. “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” -Phyllis Diller
45. “If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way Mom told you to in the beginning.” -Unknown
46. “Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” -Nia Vardalos
47. “Happy Mother’s Day! I knew you’d always be right after I tripped on the toy you asked me to pick up a million times.” -Unknown
48. “Happy Mother’s Day! Thanks for always being my snack holder.” -Unknown
49. “The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.” -Dorothy Parker
50. “A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children; obstetrically once and by car forever after.” -Peter De Vries
51. “A mother need only step into the shower to be instantly reassured she is indispensable to every member of her family.” -Lynne Williams
52. “Happy Mother’s Day! I’m sorry for all the times I called for you right after you sat down.” -Unknown
53. “My sister said once: ‘Anything I don’t want Mother to know, I don’t even think of, if she’s in the room.'” -Agatha Christie
54. “There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or ask your kids not to do it.” -Malcolm Kushner
55. “Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.” -Lisa Alther
56. “Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.” -Michelle Pfeiffer
57. “The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant.” -Jane Sellman
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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.