Get a good laugh with the funniest “what’s the difference between” jokes. Some are ironic, while others are inappropriate, and they’re all hilarious.
Humor is an excellent part of life. It boosts your mood and brightens your day.
Laughing also keeps relationships healthy and reduces stress.
One of the best ways to laugh is with “what’s the difference between” jokes.
They can be ironic, clever, dirty, and amusing. The jokes are as follows.
Hilarious “What’s the Difference Between” Jokes
1. What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One’s really heavy, and the other’s a little lighter.
2. What’s the difference between a cyclist on a bike and a unicycle?
Attire.
3. What’s the difference between a BMW car and a porcupine?
A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
4. What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws. The other is a pause at the end of a clause.
5. What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
6. What’s the difference between a frog and an orange?
They’re both orange except for the frog.
7. What’s the difference between Northern and Southern fairytales?
A Northern fairytale starts with, “Once upon a time.” A Southern fairytale begins with, “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this.”
8. What’s the difference between ignorance and indifference?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
9. What’s the difference between a run-down bus stop and a lobster with big breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other’s a busty crustacean.
10. What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweet-ment, and the other requires oink-ment.
11. What’s the difference between a pirate and a jeweler?
One watches the seas, and the other sees the watches.
12. What’s the difference between the government and the mafia?
One of them is organized.
13. What’s the difference between a hopeless romantic and an Italian exterminator?
One chases romance, and the other chases Rome ants.
14. What’s the difference between ice cream and your advice?
I asked for ice cream.
15. What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?
People in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
16. What’s the difference between a teacher and a cynic?
A teacher answers your question, and a cynic questions your answer.
17. What’s the difference between a pen and someone you’re arguing with?
The pen has a point.
18. What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter F.
19. What’s the difference between tuna and a piano?
You can tuna piano, but you can’t piano a tuna.
20. What’s the difference between love and marriage?
Love is blind, and marriage is an eye-opener.
21. What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
22. What’s the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?
The taste.
23. What’s the difference between a good night and a great night?
How you tell the story the next morning.
24. What’s the difference between learning American sign language and speaking English?
One’s really handy.
25. What’s the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.
26. What’s the difference between a female and a male ant?
A girl ant sinks in the water, and a buoyant floats.
27. What’s the difference between a spring roll and a summer roll?
The seasoning.
28. What’s the difference between a jeweler and a prison officer?
One sells watches and the other watches cells.
29. What’s the difference between Peter Pan and an airplane?
Peter Pan never lands.
30. What’s the difference between sleeping with a corduroy pillow and a newspaper?
The headlines.
31. What’s the difference between a kleptomaniac and an actor?
A kleptomaniac takes things literally.
32. What’s the difference between a baby and a salad?
No one gets angry when you toss a salad.
33. What’s the difference between an atom and a liar?
Liars don’t make up everything.
34. What’s the difference between an Italian barber and an angry circus ringmaster?
One’s a shaving Roman, and the other’s a raving showman.
35. What’s the difference between a beautiful night and a horror night?
A beautiful night’s when you hug your teddy bear and sleep. A horror night’s when your teddy bear hugs you back.
36. What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles, and the other makes sick families.
37. What’s the difference between a museum and Mordor?
One does not simply walk into Mordor.
38. What’s the difference between Santa Claus and a dog?
Santa Claus wears a suit and a dog pants.
39. What’s the difference between riding a horse during the day and at night?
One’s a night-mare.
40. What’s the difference between standing in the rain and the shower?
The water bill.
41. What’s the difference between an amateur and a professional thief?
One says, “Give me all your money!” The other says, “Sign here, please.”
42. What’s the difference between a banjo and an onion?
No one cries when you chop up a banjo.
43. What’s the difference between a $20 steak and an $80 steak?
44. What’s the difference between a bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can’t bird.
45. What’s the difference between grey and gray?
One’s a color, and the other’s a colour.
46. What’s the difference between a hockey player and a hippie woman?
A hockey player changes his pads after three periods.
47. What’s the difference between a baby and a potato?
About 140 calories.
48. What’s the difference between a knife and your life?
A knife has a point.
49. What’s the difference between a clown and an athletic rabbit?
One’s a bit funny, and the other’s a fit bunny.
50. What’s the difference between a book and a teacher?
You can shut a book up. But you can’t shut up a teacher.
51. What’s the difference between a catfish and a thief?
One’s a bottom-dwelling scum sucker, and the other’s a fish.
52. What’s the difference between a step-up stool and a 3D printer?
The former’s a ladder, and the latter’s a former.
53. What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
You can roast beef, but you can’t pee soup.
54. What’s the difference between a man and a computer?
You only have to tell a computer to do something once.
55. What’s the difference between Fahrenheit and Celsius?
One’s cooler.
56. What’s the difference between someone with an unnaturally high voice and one with unnatural teeth?
One has a falsetto voice, and the other has a false set o’ teeth.
57. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags a tail, and the other tags a whale.
58. What’s the difference between a violinist and a dog?
A dog knows when to stop scratching.
59. What’s the difference between the winner of a bodybuilding competition and a couch potato?
One has a trophy for muscles, and the other has muscle atrophy.
60. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Related: What did one snowman say to the other?
61. What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and a funeral?
One less drunk.
62. What’s the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?
Indian restaurants are naan profits, and Vietnamese restaurants are pho profit.
63. What’s the difference between The Terminator and your dad?
The Terminator will be back.
64. What’s the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
A golfer doesn’t have to bring anything home to prove a lie.
65. What’s the difference between a pie and a cobbler?
One’s a dessert, and the other makes shoes.
66. What’s the difference between a tire and 365-used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear, and the other’s a great year.
67. What’s the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.
68. What’s the difference between a dentist and a therapist?
One works with feelings, and the other works with fillings.
69. What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every night.
70. What’s the difference between a dad joke and a bad joke?
The direction that the first letter faces.
71. What’s the difference between a nun at church and a nun in a bathtub?
One has hope in her soul, and the other has soap in her hole.
Related: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
72. What’s the difference between a bowl of moldy lettuce and a depressing song?
One’s a bad salad, and the other’s a sad ballad.
73. What’s the difference between pizza and pizza jokes?
You can’t top pizza jokes.
Related: Hilarious Letterkenny Quotes to Make You Laugh
Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.