Letterkenny is a hilarious show about a small rural community in Canada. If you’re ready to laugh, read the funniest Letterkenny quotes.
As a fan of comedies, Letterkenny is an excellent show. It’s a series about life in a small rural community in Canada.
Wayne and Katy are siblings that run a small farm and produce stand. Their friends Daryl and Dan help out.
The show is full of hilarious dialogue. So, read the following Letterkenny quotes for a good laugh.
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Funny Letterkenny quotes
1. “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s?” -Jonesy
2. “The stupidest thing I ever heard in my life is that a baby is smart.” -Wayne
3. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” -Squirrely Dan
4. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.” -Katy
5. “Your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” -Shoresy
6. “Your mom just liked my Instagram post from 2 years ago in Puerto Vallarta. Tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her any time she likes.” -Reilly
7. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except kids falling off bikes, maybe.” -Wayne
8. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” -Coach
9. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.” -Wayne
10. “I want to give back to the community by helping people find love.” -Wayne
11. “What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.” -Wayne
12. “I am willing to give 69 percent of my company to a partner, why 69 percent? Both sides benefit! Good enough!” -Gail
13. “Pitter patter, let’s get at ‘er.” -Wayne
14. “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.” -Daryl
15. “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.” -Squirrely Dan
16. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.” -Wayne
17. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.” -Wayne
18. “I’m too fat to run.” -Squirrely Dan
19. “We need backup, boys.” -Jonesy
20. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?” -Daryl
21. “On a scale from one to America, how free are you right now?” -Katy
22. “Not my pig, not my farm.” -Wayne
23. “The less you say now, the less you have to apologize for later.” -Daryl
24. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.” -Wayne
25. “Oh, I got so much time for sushi.” -Wayne
26. “You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.” -Wayne
27. “You lose a lot of heat in the neck.” -Wayne
28. “And I suggest you let that one marinate.” -Wayne
29. “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” -Reilly
30. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.” -Katy
31. “Hard no.” -Wayne
32. “I mean, just because my name is Reilly doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m a drunken leprechaun.” -Reilly
33. “Your sister’s lasagna gave everyone the scoots for weeks up in here.” -Gail
34. “Betty-Ann, your breath’s so bad it gave me an existential crisis – it made me question my whole life.” -Shoresy
35. “Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.” -Wayne
36. “I’m so upset about my perennials.” -Squirrely Dan
37. “If you smelly gamey, you ain’t gonna lay me.” -Katy
38. “Because it’s too complicated – it’s like algebra: Why you gotta put numbers and letters together?” -Wayne
39. “A smoke and a beer go together like a piss and a fart.” -Wayne
40. “Make sure you use that sunscreen ‘cause it’s a great day for hay.” -Gail
41. “The bottom inch of a beer bottle is 50% spit.” -Wayne
42. “I have never been less embarrassed in all my life.” -Coach
43. “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?” -Wayne
44. “Something about that old goat just really grinds my pepper.” -Gail
45. “You came to after having a bar fight. Felt like you got hit by a car, right? But your pal had your back, went on the attack, but it turned off his gal like a night light.” -Daryl
46. “He is otherworldly! He’s got a dome like an Easter Island statue.” -Squirrely Dan
47. “Jinx, you owe me a Coke.” -Wayne
48. “Look if you are coming, come correct.” -Gail
49. “This eau de toilette is enchantingly refreshing on summer days like this.” -Daryl
50. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you.” -Squirrely Dan
51. “If you had as many bucks in your wallet as bucks mounted on your wall you’d have, well, give or take six bucks.” -Wayne
52. “I need to give you one more chance to retract, no questions asked. Before this conversation becomes a confrontation.” -Gail
53. “It’s always ok to fart when you’re alone. Accept when you’re in elevators. That’s uncouth.” -Wayne
54. “Not my forte.” -Katy
55. “Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach.” -Wayne
56. “Tell your mom to top up the cell phone she bought me so I can FaceTime her late at night.” -Shoresy
57. “You’re softer than a Cinnabon sampler.” -Wayne
58. “Got anymore of that electric lettuce? These darts aren’t doing it.” -Shoresy
59. “You know not to be impolite but sometimes a gal will do some kissing on the ears. Which makes me uncomfortable because even though I clean my ears, sometimes a tater will just roll out of there unexpected.” -Wayne
60. “Do-re-mi, 19, go f*ck yourself.” -Squirrely Dan
61. “There’s something really pervy about that word ‘taste.'” -Wayne
62. “Is geostamping farts a good idea?” -Stewart
63. “Bad gas travels real fast in a small town.” -Wayne
64. “Hey, Reilly, I made an oopsy. Can you ask your mom to pick up Jonesy’s mom on the way over to my place? I double-booked them by mistake.” -Shoresy
65. “You’re a cup of baby carrots.” -Wayne
66. “If you stick a penny up your *ss and it comes out green, it means you’re sick. Did you know that?” -Daryl
67. “You delivered, I’ll give ya that, but what type of prick doesn’t stand up to shake another man’s hand?” -Wayne
68. “You two ever make me walk this far again, and we’re making babies.” -Katy
69. “This may very well call for the old Irish Goodbye.” -Wayne
70. “You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.” -Wayne
71. “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the f*ck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.” -Wayne
72. “Call me a cake, ’cause I’ll go straight to your *ss, cowboy!” -Gail
73. “I wish you weren’t so f*cking awkward, bud.” -Wayne
74. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” -Wayne
75. “Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?” -Wayne
76. “Oh, I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the f*cking windshield.” -Katy
77. “F*ck Lemony Snicket. What a series of unfortunate events you been through, you ugly f*ck?” -Jonesy
78. “Well nots to be impolite but this gal suggested that maybe I should have some attentions paid to my butthole. That ever happen to you guys?” -Squirrely Dan
79. “Up next in the barn, this bartender turned dog-breeder hopes Cupid will find his way to Letterkenny.” -Bonnie
80. “Agricultural halls are for agricultural music.” -Wayne
81. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like yer pants are doin’ it for ya.” -Wayne
82. “I seen Samuel in the laundry room with a cat one time and you just know that little f*cker is gonna put it in the dryer.” -Wayne
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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.