Retirement is one of the biggest stages of life. The transition can be emotional. So, lighten up and laugh with the funniest retirement jokes.
The Social Security Administration considers 67 to be the normal retirement age. But you can retire at any age.
Retirement is a significant change in life. You go from an active career to a more low-key lifestyle.
It can be a time to travel, focus on your health, and enjoy family and friends.
Also, read the following retirement jokes for a good laugh.
They’re relatable, hilarious, and perfect for sharing.
Funny retirement jokes
1. What do you call a person that’s happy on Monday?
Retired.
2. What’s the best part of every job?
Retirement.
3. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it’ll take all day.
4. Why shouldn’t you call a retiree at 8 PM?
You might wake them up.
5. Why do many retirees go to church?
They’re cramming for their final exam.
6. When’s the best time to think about retirement?
Before your boss does.
7. Why should retirees always be kind to their children?
Their kids will choose their nursing home.
8. Why don’t retirees mind being called seniors?
It comes with a discount.
9. How’s retirement better than a job?
You can still do nothing without worrying about getting caught.
10. What hidden talent can you find after retirement?
You’re really good at doing nothing.
11. At what age should you retire?
When you start bragging about your age, instead of lying about it.
12. Why shouldn’t you tell retirement jokes?
None of them work.
13. What do retirees call a long lunch?
Normal.
14. Why do retirees always smile?
They can’t hear you.
15. What does a wife call a retired husband?
A full-time job.
16. What does a spouse get after their partner retires?
Twice the spouse with half the income.
17. What’s the worst part of retirement?
You don’t get a day off.
18. What do gardeners do in retirement?
Not mulch.
19. Why did the prostitute retire?
She screwed up.
20. When does an astronaut know it’s time to retire?
They keep spacing out.
21. What are the days in a retiree’s week?
Six Saturdays and one Sunday.
22. I hear retirement is lonely. I hope you don’t get lonely.
If you do, don’t call me. I’ll be at work.
23. How do you know someone’s retired?
They ask you, “Hey, what day is it?”
24. When do mushrooms retire?
When they get too mold.
25. Where do pirates go for retirement?
P-arrr-adise.
26. Retirement: The pay sucks.
But the hours are great.
Related: Funny 60th Birthday Quotes
Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.