60+ Funny Pumpkin Jokes for Gourd Laughs

Pumpkins are squash grown in the summer and harvested in the fall. Next time you see one, remember funny pumpkin jokes for a laugh.

Pumpkin.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Pumpkins are a symbol of fall and Halloween. They’re also delicious and nutritious.

You can bake a pie, make pasta, or roast the seeds.

The best part is that the flesh, seed, and peel offer benefits, not only one part.

Whether eating one or making a jack-o’-lantern, read the following pumpkin jokes for a laugh.

Related: What do birds say on Halloween?

Hilarious pumpkin jokes

1. Who rules over all pumpkins?

The pump-king.

2. What do you call a pumpkin that communicates with ghosts?

A ouija gourd.

3. What does a sad jack-o’-lantern say?

I feel hollow inside.

4. What do you use to fix a broken pumpkin?

A pumpkin patch.

Pumpkin.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

5. What do you call a big pumpkin?

A plump-kin.

6. Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid?

It didn’t have the guts.

7. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite sport?

Squash.

8. What does a pumpkin say when it’s surprised?

Oh my gourd!

9. What do you call a pumpkin that works at a swimming pool?

A life-gourd.

10. What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin pi.

11. What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?

Gourd-geous.

12. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite movie?

Pulp Fiction.

13. What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the pumpkin that kept messing around?

Cut it out.

14. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Squash.

15. Why are jack-o’-lanterns so smart?

The candle makes them bright.

16. Why did the pumpkin go to the doctor?

It didn’t feel gourd.

17. What did the pumpkin say to the graduating class?

Con-gourd-ulations!

18. What does a pumpkin say at happy hour?

Let’s get smashed.

19. What do you call an athletic pumpkin?

A jock-o’-lantern.

20. Why do pumpkins surprise people?

They catch them off gourd.

21. What does a content pumpkin say about life?

Life is gourd.

22. How do you know if a pumpkin is nervous?

It starts pulp-itating.

Pumpkin.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

23. What did the pumpkin say to the other when it was upset?

Leaf me alone.

24. What do you get when you cross an umpire with a pumpkin?

An ump-kin.

25. Which pumpkin basketball player is considered the greatest of all time?

Michael Gourd-an.

26. What do you say if a pumpkin is flying towards someone?

Squash out.

27. How does a winter squash pay for things?

By using pumpkin bread.

28. What do you call a barking pumpkin?

A gourd dog.

29. What do you call an inactive pumpkin?

Seed-entary.

30. What do you call an evil pumpkin from Star Wars?

Pulp-atine.

31. How do pumpkins get to the roof?

They use a jack-o’-ladder.

32. What do call a pumpkin lifting weights?

Pumpkin iron.

33. How do you know what’s inside a pumpkin?

Rib it apart.

34. Who protects a celebrity pumpkin?

The body-gourd.

35. Why was Cinderella bad at football?

She had a pumpkin for a coach.

36. What did the pumpkin say when others were gossiping about it?

I’ll give them pumpkin to talk about.

37. How do pumpkins listen to music?

On vine-yl.

Three pumpkins.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

38. Will the pumpkin be alright?

It’ll be vine.

39. Who helps young pumpkins safely cross the road?

The crossing gourd.

40. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?

You look a bit sick.

41. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?

Good-pie.

42. What do you call a pumpkin with a bump?

A lump-kin.

43. What do you call a pumpkin that you accidentally hit?

A bump-kin.

44. What do pumpkins do after using the bathroom?

Squash their hands.

45. Why were the two pumpkins so close?

They had deep roots.

46. What does a grateful pumpkin say?

There’s always pumpkin to be thankful for.

47. Why didn’t the pumpkin do its homework?

It for-gourd.

Pumpkin winking.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

48. What do you call a mean pumpkin?

A jerk-o’-lantern.

49. What does a jack-o’-lantern say every night?

Let’s get lit.

50. How do pumpkins get good deals?

They ne-gourd-tiate.

51. What does a pumpkin say to celebrate?

Hip, hip, puree.

52. What do pumpkins eat while watching a movie?

Pulp-corn.

53. Who is pumpkin Barbie’s main male friend?

Pump-Ken.

54. How do pumpkins get across a body of water?

On a pump-canoe.

55. What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a primate?

A gourd-rilla.

56. Where do pumpkins plant flowers?

In a gourd-en.

57. What do you call an incapable pumpkin?

A pumpkin-not.

Pumpkin.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

58. What do you call a pumpkin that works really hard?

Ri-gourd-rous.

59. What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a small dog?

A pom-kin.

60. What do you call a pumpkin that meditates?

A pump-zen.

61. Why do jack-o’-lanterns perform poorly in school?

They got their brains scooped out.

62. What do you call a group of pumpkin best friends?

Squash goals.

Related: Funny Celery Puns

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.

David Em.

David Em

David Em is the founder of Humor Living. He launched Humor Living to create a destination for you to visit anytime you need a laugh. Whether you’re looking for jokes, puns, memes, or funny stories, Humor Living is the place to be.