30+ Hilarious Captain America Quotes (MCU)

Captain America is the leader of the Avengers and dates back to 1941. Read the funniest Captain America quotes for a good laugh.

Captain America.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Steve Rogers is a relatable and well-loved superhero.

After the rejection by the U.S. Army, he transforms into a super-soldier, Captain America.

For over 80 years, Steve Rogers has said many memorable things.

Read the funniest Captain America quotes for a good laugh.

Related: Hilarious Harry Potter Jokes

Funny Captain America quotes

1. “Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

Captain America's shield.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

2. “I’m not looking for forgiveness, and I’m way past asking for permission.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

3. “Do you… fondue?” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

4. “So your body’s changing. Believe me, I know how that feels.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

5. “Language!” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

6. “That is America’s ass.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

7. “If they’re shooting at you, they’re bad.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

8. “I don’t like bullies; I don’t care where they’re from.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

9. “I knocked out Adolf Hitler over 200 times.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

10. “I know this neighborhood. I got beat up in that alley. And that parking lot. And behind that diner.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

11. “On your left.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

12. “You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

13. “The hell I can’t! I’m a Captain!” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

14. “Secure the engine room, then get me a date.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

15. “It’s probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

16. “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

Captain America's shield.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

17. “Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn’t just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means, um, I can’t get drunk. Did you know that?” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

18. “I’m gonna need a raincheck on that dance.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

19. “I’m just a kid from Brooklyn.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

20. “Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

21. “Stark, you worry about bringing the city back down safely. The rest of us have one job, tear these things apart. You get hurt, hurt them back. You get killed… walk it off.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

22. “That was not my first kiss since 1945. I’m 95, not dead.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

23. “Thor, you gotta try and bottleneck that portal. Slow ’em down. You got the lightning. Light the bastards up. You and me, we stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here. And Hulk? Smash!” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

24. “You know for the longest time I dreamed about coming overseas and being on the front lines. Serving my country. I finally get everything I wanted, and I’m wearing tights.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

25. “What’s the matter? Scared of a little lightning?” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

Captain America.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

26. “Soldiers trust each other. That’s what makes it an army. Not a bunch of guys running around shooting guns.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

27. “If you’re gonna fight a war, you got to wear a uniform.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

28. “Well, things aren’t so bad. Food’s a lot better; we used to boil everything. No polio is good. Internet, so helpful. I’ve been reading that a lot trying to catch up.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

29. “No one asked you to look, Tony.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

30. “That’s not exactly the word I would use.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

31. “Well, I couldn’t leave my best girl. Not when she owes me a dance.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

32. “I had a big breakfast.” -Steve Rogers (Captain America)

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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.

David Em.

David Em

David Em is the founder of Humor Living. He launched Humor Living to create a destination for you to visit anytime you need a laugh. Whether you’re looking for jokes, puns, memes, or funny stories, Humor Living is the place to be.