60+ Hilarious Heart Jokes That’ll Make You Skip a Beat

Your heart is the center of your circulation system. It’s also a symbol of love and romance. Read hilarious heart jokes for a good laugh.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

The heart is a symbol of love and affection. It’s also an essential organ because it pumps blood throughout your body.

If you’re ready to laugh, read the following heart jokes.

They’re perfect for learning about the heart or expressing your love with humor.

The ultimate list of heart jokes

1. What’s a heart’s favorite type of shoe?


2. How do you get arrested on Valentine’s Day?

Steal someone’s heart.

3. Why did the heart act uninterested?

It was playing heart to get.

Heart with its arms crossed.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

4. Why did the skeleton quit its job?

Its heart wasn’t in it.

5. Why doesn’t a heart stop after a distraction?

It doesn’t miss a beat.

6. What do you call a heart in handcuffs?

Cardiac arrest.

7. What did the pizza slice say to the other?

You stole a pizza my heart.

8. What did the pig say to its girlfriend?

Don’t go bacon my heart.

9. Why are two hearts better than one?

Two hearts can’t be beat.

10. What kind of car does a cardiologist drive?

A beater.

11. What do you call it when you don’t do what your heart says?

You crossed your heart.

12. Why are hearts good at motivating?

They’re always pumped up.

13. What’s a heart’s favorite part of a building?

The atrium.

14. Why don’t cardiologists date hematologists?

The relationship would be in vein.

15. Why do patients refuse heart transplants?

They have a change of heart.

Heart and stethoscope.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

16. What do you call a cardiology student after dropping out?

Heart failure.

17. Why don’t skeletons care about those that are suffering?

They don’t have a heart.

18. What does a lazy heart do?

Heart-ly anything.

19. Why did the rockstar need emergency heart surgery?

He played his heart out.

20. Why does everyone fall in love with locksmiths?

They have the key to their hearts.

21. What do you call two birds in love?


22. Why doesn’t corn like heart jokes?

They’re corn-orary.

23. What does a know-it-all’s heart say when you tell it something?

Aorta know.

24. What’s the easiest way to reach someone’s heart?

Through their chest.

25. What do you call a period of struggle for a cardiologist?

A heart time.

26. Why do cardiac surgeons make the best public speakers?

They touch the most hearts.

27. What happened to the bear with heart problems?

It had Kodiak arrest.

28. What does a cardiologist do at a buffet?

Eat their heart out.

29. Why shouldn’t you get heart surgery in the United Kingdom?

They’ll Brexit into pieces.

30. What’s Cupid’s favorite rock band?


31. How do cardiologists decide to be cardiologists?

They follow their hearts.

32. What did the dinosaur say to its significant other?

You make my heart saur.

33. Why did the surgeon perform heart transplants at the patient’s house?

Home is where the heart is.

34. Why does everyone call that person a heartthrob?

They always have heart palpitations.

35. What’s a heart’s favorite shade of red?


36. What do you call it when a heart stops talking?

Flutter silence.

37. How do you organize information about hearts?

Create a c-heart.

38. What did the volcano say to its lover on Valentine’s Day?

You make my heart gush. I lava you.

39. What does a chicken feel after a breakup?


Broken heart.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

40. Why do cardiologists recommend removing candles before eating cake?

So you don’t get heartburn.

41. Why did the cardiologist call her husband a thoracic cavity?

He kept her heart.

42. What did the cardiac surgeon say about the next patient during a busy day?

A-flutter one.

43. What does a heart say when it thinks something’s easy to do?

How heart can it be?

44. What did the heart say to its crush on Valentine’s Day?

Valve you be mine?

45. How do you know if a heart doesn’t like someone?

It welcomes everyone ex-septum.

46. What do you call the middle of something that has mass and you can weigh?

The heart of the matter.

47. What do you call a heart after passing out?

Faint of heart.

48. Why did the heart go to the cardiac surgical operating room?

To make sure it was in the right place.

49. What does a heart do while looking at vegetables at a grocery store?

It skips a beet.

50. Why do hearts like moderate temperatures?

So they don’t melt.

51. What do you call someone that draws hearts?

An heart-ist.

52. What’s a heart’s favorite subject in school?


53. Where do hearts go shopping?

The dep-heart-ment store.

54. What do you call a fake heart?


55. What did the mushroom say to its lover?

There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.

56. What do you call discoveries of historical hearts?


57. What happens if you leave a heart in the cold?

It heart-ens.

58. Where do cardiologists buy tools?

The heart-ware store.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

59. What kind of books do cardiologists prefer?

Heart-cover books.

60. What do you call a tough heart?


61. What do hearts wear in the summer?


62. What’s a cardiologist’s favorite vegetable?


Related: Funny Theater Puns

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.