Pigs are intelligent mammals with stout bodies and short legs. Read hilarious pig jokes for a laugh next time you see or hear one.
Pigs are fascinating mammals. While they have a reputation for being dirty, they’re clean animals.
Pigs are also intelligent. They’re smarter than dogs and 3-year-old kids.
When you’re around pigs, you’ll hear them make many different noises. Oinks, grunts, and squeals have different meanings.
Next time you see or hear one, remember the following pig jokes for a laugh.
Funny pig jokes
1. What do you call an imaginary pig?
A pig-ment of your imagination.
2. Why shouldn’t you play basketball with a pig?
It’ll hog the ball.
3. What do you call a big with three eyes?
A piiig.
4. Why did the pig fall asleep during class?
It was boar-ed.
5. What did the confident pig say about itself?
I’m kind of a pig deal.
6. What does a pig say on Valentine’s Day?
Squeal you be mine?
7. What do you call a pig that does martial arts?
Pork chop.
8. What did the pig say to its long-distance partner?
I’m missing you pig time.
9. What does a pig get after picking its nose?
Ham-boogers.
10. What did the pig say to its significant other?
I a-boar you.
11. What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus?
A porky-pine.
12. What’s a pig’s favorite social media platform?
Insta-ham.
13. What did the pig do to land new clients?
It swine-d and dined them.
14. What do you get when you cross a pig with a snail?
A slow-pork.
15. Which sporting event do hogs watch every four years?
The Olym-pigs.
16. Which phrase do pigs use to express affection?
Hogs and kisses.
17. What does a pig say after experiencing something cool?
That was e-pig.
18. What do you call a shy pig trying to make friends?
Hog-ward.
19. How does a pig look in a suit?
Ham-some.
20. What did the mommy pig say to her kids after playtime?
Pig up your toys.
21. What’s the best feature of a pig?
Its porcine-ality.
22. What do pigs use as soap?
Hogwash.
23. What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
24. What’s a pig’s favorite game show?
Squeal of Fortune.
25. What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Pork.
26. Why couldn’t the pig finish the race?
It pulled its hamstring.
27. What do pigs use to write secret messages?
Invisible oink.
28. Where do pigs keep their money?
In the piggy bank.
29. What do you get when you cross a pig with Sasquatch?
Pig-foot.
30. Who’s a pig’s favorite rapper?
Pig-gie Smalls.
31. What’s a pig’s favorite color?
Ma-hog-any.
32. How did the pig remember things in great detail?
It has pig-ture memory.
33. What do you call a pig that’s unwilling to change its mind?
Stub-boar-n.
34. What do pig students get from teachers?
Ham-work.
35. What did the pig say after someone asked why it was doing something?
Swine not?
36. What do you call a pig after it pulls a muscle?
Pulled pork.
37. Why couldn’t the pig remember anything?
It had ham-nesia.
38. What did the pig say after staying in the sun for too long?
I’m bacon.
39. What do you call a pig that drives recklessly?
A road hog.
40. What do you call a pig without legs?
A groundhog.
41. What did the pig dress up as for Halloween?
Franken-swine.
42. What’s a pig’s favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
43. What did the pig say to the celebrity?
I’m a pig fan.
44. What does a pig say when it doesn’t care?
I don’t give a ham.
45. Did you hear the story about pigs?
There was a twist in the tale.
46. What do you call it when pigs work together?
A colla-boar-ation.
47. What’s a pig’s favorite ice cream brand?
Hog-en-Dazs.
48. Why did the pig pack up a meal?
It was going to have a pig-nic.
49. What do you call a pig thief?
A ham-burglar.
50. What do you call a pig that does charity work?
Philanthro-pig.
51. What do you call a pig with laryngitis?
Disgruntled.
52. How does a bouncing pig sound?
B-oink. B-oink.
53. What do you tell a pig that’s moving too slowly?
Pig up the pace.
54. What do you give an injured pig?
Oink-ment.
55. What do you call pigs that write to each other?
Pen pals.
56. Why shouldn’t you eat with a pig?
It’ll hog the food.
57. Which pig is a famous theoretical physicist?
Albert Ein-swine.
58. Why shouldn’t you share a bed with a pig?
It’ll hog the covers.
59. What do you say to a complaining pig?
Stop swine-ing.
60. Why was the pig covered in ink?
It came out of the pen.
61. How do pigs get to another country?
They go through the boar-der.
62. What do you do if a pig gets into an accident?
Call a ham-bulance.
63. What do you call a cheerful pig?
Porky.
64. What’s a pig’s favorite fashion brand?
Calvin Swine.
65. What’s a pig’s tail like at 2 AM?
Twirly.
66. What did the pig say to offer a last chance?
It’s snout or never.
67. Why did the pig move to the United States?
For the Ham-erican Dream.
68. What’s a pig’s favorite holiday?
La-boar Day.
69. Why did the pig get fired?
Insu-boar-dination.
70. Who’s a pig’s favorite Star Wars character?
Ham Solo.
71. What do pigs have at parties?
Swine and cheese.
72. Who’s a pig’s favorite author?
Hog Mandino.
73. What’s a pig’s favorite place to shop?
Ham-azon.
74. Where can pigs go to ride a roller coaster?
The ham-usement park.
75. What’s a pig’s favorite travel destination?
Ham-sterdam.
76. What kind of vehicle do pigs drive?
Pig-up trucks.
77. Who’s a pig’s favorite artist?
Pablo Pig-casso.
78. What do pigs put in sandwiches?
Pig-les.
79. What did the pig say after someone brought up its past?
That was a long time hog-o.
80. What do pigs call a beautiful landscape?
Pig-turesque.
81. What do you call a weird pig?
Pig-uliar.
82. What’s a pig’s favorite sport?
Pig-leball.
83. What do you call it when pigs eat at a fancy restaurant?
Swine dining.
Related: Hilarious Sloth Jokes
Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.