105+ Hilarious Science Jokes for Teachers and Students

Science has various branches that help explain the world. Whether teaching or learning about it, get a laugh with the best science jokes.

Beakers with liquid reacting.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Science has three branches, natural, social, and formal.

It’s a field that tells you about the world, life, and knowledge. Science also helps to improve living standards.

It’s a fantastic field that also opens you up to the world of humor. Read the following science jokes for a good laugh.

Funny science jokes

1. How did the chemist read a book about helium without any breaks?

The chemist couldn’t put it down.

2. Why did the two red blood cells break up?

Their relationship was all in vein.

Two red blood cells.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

3. What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?

2 Na.

4. Did you hear about how oxygen and magnesium got together?


5. Why can’t you trust atoms?

They make up everything.

6. What did the science book say to the math book?

You’ve got problems.

7. Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?

They had no chemistry.

8. What type of pants do biologists wear?


9. Which element comes from a Norse god?


10. Why should you always ask a chemistry teacher if you have a question?

If they don’t have a solution, they’ll make one up.

11. Which dog breed do chemists prefer?

Labratory retrievers.

12. Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide.

13. Why did the scientist remove her doorbell?

She wanted to win the No-bell prize.

14. What did one tectonic plate say after bumping into another?

Sorry, my fault.

15. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

You may have graduated, but I have more degrees.

16. What did the helpless T cell say when facing the infection?

Is antibody out there?

17. What did the stamen say to the pistil?

I like your style.

18. What did the cell say after his sister stepped on his toe?

Ouch! That’s mitosis.

19. Why’s it so hard to wake up in the morning?

Newton’s First Law states that a body at rest wants to stay at rest.

Person sleeping on a pillow.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

20. What do you call an educated tube?

A graduated cylinder.

21. What’s a chemist’s favorite carnival ride?

A ferrous wheel.

22. What do solids, liquids, and gases have in common?

They all matter.

23. Why are the Atlantic and Indian Oceans vague?

Because they’re not Pacific.

24. Why did the chemistry lab blow up?

Oxidants happen.

25. What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don’t take me for granite.

26. Antibiotics are becoming more popular.

But they’ll never go viral.

27. Why’s gold the best element?

It’s Au-some.

28. What do you call a joke about cobalt, radon, and yttrium?


29. Which element is the least interesting?


30. How much room do fungi need to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

31. A neutron walks into a bar and asks, “How much for a beer?”

The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”

32. Why was the science teacher hesitant to give a lecture on mitosis?

It’s a divisive issue.

33. Geology rocks.

But geography is where it’s at.

34. Why don’t aliens visit our solar system?

They checked the reviews and saw only one star.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

35. I was going to tell you a joke about sodium.

But Na.

36. What do you call it when your science teacher lowers your grade?


37. What was the charge when sodium chloride was arrested?

A salt.

38. How do you know atoms are Catholic?

They have mass.

39. What’s a tornado’s favorite game to play?


40. What kinds of books do planets like to read?

Comet books.

41. Why don’t magnets have mates?

Because they’re polar opposites.

42. Which runs faster, hot or cold?

Hot because you can catch a cold.

43. Everyone calls me DJ Enzyme.

I’m always breaking it down.

44. Do you want to hear a joke about nitric oxide?


45. Why is the dieting advice “eating light” bad advice?

That’s how you become a black hole.

46. What do rich clouds do?

They make it rain.

47. What does Earth say to make fun of other planets?

You all have no life.

48. What did one ion say to the other?

I’ve got my ion you.

49. What are the essential elements of humor?

Sulfur, Argon, Calcium, and Samarium (SArCaSm).

50. What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

51. Why’s electricity the perfect student?

It conducts itself well.

52. Why were oxygen, hydrogen, and carbon wearing suits?

They were a formyl group.

53. Why did the bacteria fail the math test?

It thought multiplication was the same as division.

54. If you’re not part of the solution.

You’re part of the precipitate.

55. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He’s 0K now.

Related: What did zero say to eight?

56. What happens when Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up?

They become alloys.

57. An infectious disease walks into a bar.

The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” It replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”

58. What was the name of the first electricity detective?

Sherlock Ohms.

59. What do you call it when biologists take photos of themselves?


60. Why was the chemistry teacher sad after telling a joke?

There was no reaction.

61. Why did the cloud date the fog?

Because it was so down to earth.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

62. How do you prepare for a party in space?

You planet.

63. Where do chemists eat lunch?

On a periodic table.

64. What is the quickest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?

Pull down its genes.

65. What’s a planet’s favorite type of music?


66. What do you call it when a knight farts?

Noble gas.

67. Why do hipster chemists always get burned?

They touch the beaker before it’s cool.

68. Do you know what makes my day?

The rotation of the Earth.

69. Why do chemists hang periodic table posters everywhere?

It makes them feel like they’re in their element.

70. Do you know the name Pavlov?

It rings a bell.

71. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags a tail, and the other tags a whale.

72. Why’s YouTube stable?

It constantly buffers.

73. Goodbye, boiling water.

You’ll be mist.

74. Do you have 11 protons?

Because you’re sodium cute.

75. What fruit contains barium and double sodium?


76. Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

The food is delicious, but there’s no atmosphere.

77. Why’s the ocean so salty?

Because land never waves back.

78. What did the dog say to the human?

My favorite frequency is 50,000 hertz, but you’ve probably never heard of it.

79. Why did the moon get a loan?

It was down to its last quarter.

80. What’s a nuclear physicist’s favorite food?

Fission chips.

81. Why’s the spinal column so audacious?

Its got nerve.

82. Why was hydrogen sad?

Because it was alone.

83. What happens to criminal light?

It ends up in prism.

84. Light travels faster than sound.

That’s why some people appear brighter until you hear them speak.

85. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

You rocket.

86. What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 feet long?

A Pi-thon.

87. Why are astronauts happier in space?

There’s no gravity to drag them down.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

88. Who’s smaller than a biologist?

A microbiologist.

89. What does a tree wear to a pool party?

Swimming trunks.

90. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date.

I heard they really bonded.

91. What does blood say to be optimistic?

B Positive.

92. How do scientists freshen their breath?

With experi-mints.

93. What did the volcano say to his wife?

I lava you so much.

94. How do you know Saturn has been married many times?

It has seven rings.

95. What do you call an accountant for the biology department?

A buy-ologist.

96. Why did the proton break up with the electron?

It was sick of its negativity.

97. Why do plants hate algebra?

It gives them square roots.

98. What kind of books is the hardest to get through?

Friction books.

99. I lost an electron.

Are you positive?

100. How is a chemistry lab like a party?

You can drop the acid or the base.

Beaker with liquid and gas.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

101. Where did the science jokes go?

They Argon.

102. What do protons and life coaches have in common?

They both know how to stay positive.

103. Why should you avoid organic chemistry?

It has alkynes of trouble.

104. Did you just mutate for a stop codon?

Because you’re talking nonsense.

105. Two chemists walk into a bar.

The first one says, “I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says, “I’ll have an H2O too.” He died.

106. What did the scientists name their twins?

Sally and Control.

107. What did the 15-degree angle say to the 90-degree angle?

You think you’re always right.

108. How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?

By its bark.

109. What happens to geologists after watching scary movies?

They’re petrified.

Related: Funny Camping Quotes for Inspiration and Laughter

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.