70+ Funny Rap Quotes and Lyrics That Are Ridiculous

Rap is one of the most popular music genres. While some quotes and lyrics are legendary, others are hilarious. Read funny rap quotes for a laugh.

Silhouette of a person rapping.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Rap is also known as hip-hop. Its origins are in The Bronx, New York, in the 1970s.

Today, it’s one of the most popular genres of music. Notable rappers include Jay-Z, Nas, Drake, Kendrick Lamar, and J. Cole.

Many have also made hilarious statements or lyrics. The following are funny rap quotes that’ll leave you laughing all day.

Funny rap quotes

1. “Watch out for the medallion my diamonds are reckless. Feels like a midget is hangin’ from my necklace.” -Ludacris

2. “Thirty-eight revolve like a Sun ’round the Earth.” -Jay-Z

3. “Always been about them horizontal lines through them S’s. That’s a dollar sign.” -Chamillionaire

Funny rap lyric by Chamillionaire.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

4. “Yes, my name is Roman, last name is Zolanski. But no relation to Roman Polanski.” -Nicki Minaj

5. “I love you like a fat kid loves cake.” -50 Cent

6. “Never let me slip, ’cause if I slip, then I’m slippin’.” -Dr. Dre

7. “I’m hungry for cheese like Hungry Hungry Hippo.” -Project Pat

8. “Why you gotta fight with me at Cheesecake? You know I love to go there.” -Drake

9. “I’m harder than DJ Khaled playing the quiet game.” -Tyler, the Creator

10. “I’m so ahead of my time my parents haven’t met yet.” -Big L

11. “Waiting on the Pizzle, the Dizzle and the Shizzle. G’s to the bizzack, now ladies here we gizzo.” -Snoop Dogg

12. “I got old money, coulda bought a dinosaur.” -Lil Wayne

13. “I like my beats funky. I’m spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy.” -Digital Underground

14. “Why you sleeping with your eyes closed?” -Destiny’s Child

15. “I’m like the fly Malcolm X, buy any jeans necessary.” -Kanye West

16. “It’s so hot up in the club that I ain’t got no shoes on.” -Hurricane Chris

17. “I say what’s next, what’s next what’s N-X-E-T?” -Warren G

Funny rap lyrics by Warren G.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

18. “Couldn’t afford a car, so she named her daughter Alexis.” -Kanye West

19. “She got a big booty so I call her Big Booty.” -2 Chainz

20. “I sell ice in the winter, I sell fire in hell. I am a hustler baby, I’ll sell water to a well.” -Jay-Z

21. “Got so many chains, they call me Chaining Tatum.” -Drake

22. “She told me, ‘Boy you want your cake and eat it too?’ I said ‘It’s cake, that’s what you’re supposed to do?'” -J. Cole

23. “Double R, that’s a Rolls. Paint it yellow like it’s dairy.” -Young Thug

24. “Weezy F. Baby, and the F is for Phenomenal.” -Lil Wayne

25. “While you only pretend to be, I can double my density. From three-sixty degrees to seven-twenty instantly.” -Canibus

26. “When I was a geisha, he was a samurai. Somehow I understood him when he spoke Thai.” -Nicki Minaj

27. “Why is the sky blue? Why is water wet?” -Ghostface Killah

28. “Bikinis, zucchinis, martinis, no weenies.” -Snoop Dogg

29. “My paragraph alone is worth five mics (uh-huh). A twelve song LP, that’s thirty-six mics (uh-huh).” -Redman

30. “Psych, I swear I’m not a violent guy. Once upon time I brought a Super Soaker to a drive-by.” -Logic

31. “It’s kinda hard to imagine like Kanye West comin’ back from his fatal accident.” -Game

32. “America’s pie, put my hand in the pot.” -Tyga

33. “Yeah, my side girl got a 5S with the screen cracked. Still hit me back right away.” -Drake

34. “My apologies are you into astrology ’cause, um, I’m trying to make it to Uranus.” -Kanye West

35. “Standing at my podium, I’m trying to watch my sodium.” -Young Jeezy

36. “I’m a cow. I’m not a cat, I don’t say meow.” -Doja Cat

37. “Lookin’ this good should be a sin, you should call me cinnamon.” -Pardison Fontaine

38. “Now watch him make a movie like Albert Hitchcock.” -Pitbull

39. “Moving in the Grand Prix, same color as thunder.” -OJ da Juiceman

Funny rap lyrics by OJ da Juiceman.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

40. “I got more hoes than the ozone.” -Silkk the Shocker

41. “Stroke my cactus.” -Travis Scott

42. “But I know they don’t want me in the damn club. They even made me show ID to get inside of Sam’s Club.” -Kanye West

43. “I love your sushi roll, hotter than wasabi.” -Drake

44. “Your whip is a toilet, you’re lookin’ like poop in it.” -Nav

45. “If cops pull up I put that crack in my crack. Or I put that brack in my brack.” Young Thug

46. “Poop-di-scoopty. Scoopty-whoop. Whoopity-scoop, whoop-poop.” -Kanye West

47. “Boy you can’t out-fart me.” -J. Cole

48. “Put molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it. I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain’t even know it.” -Rick Ross

49. “We in two different cities. Minnnesota and Philly.” -Brother Ali

50. “Rock star, flier than an ostrich.” -Lil Wayne

51. “Now you get to watch her leave out the window. Guess that’s why they call it window pane.” -Eminem

52. “You could have my heart or we can share it like the last slice.” -Drake

53. “I’m an animal. Half-man, half-mammal.” -Jay-Z

54. “I’m a Young Money millionaire, tougher than Nigerian hair.” -Lil Wayne

55. “Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.” -Larry Platt

56. “Girl you’re hot and cold, that makes you warm.” -Tyga

57. “She got a light-skinned friend look like Michael Jackson. Got a dark-skinned friend look like Michael Jackson.” -Kanye West

58. “Appraisal the wrist watch. The rocks bout the size. As the teeth in Chris Rock’s mouth.” -Danny Brown

59. “Rap is just one of my fetishes, like a dragon that’s pregnant.” -Jaden Smith

Funny rap lyric by Jaden Smith.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

60. “I don’t play no games ‘less we talkin’ Fortnite.” -Logic

61. “Superman that hoe.” -Soulja Boy

62. “I’m an ordinary person but I’m paid.” -Lil Boosie

63. “I’m hot ‘coz I’m fly. You ain’t ‘coz you’re not.” -MIMS

64. “Rule nombre uno.” -The Notorious B.I.G.

65. “That girl know how to blow something like she played the flute.” -Mac Miller

66. “You wiggity wiggity wack if you ain’t got biggity back.” -MC Hammer

67. “My wrist deserve a shout-out, I’m like ‘What up, wrist?'” -2 Chainz

Funny rap lyric by 2 Chainz.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

68. “Stop writing raps and go play volleyball.” -Atmosphere

69. “Lemonade was a popular drink, and it still is.” -Guru

70. “Honey ain’t a politician, she’s a pole-a-tican.” -Nas

71. “Thirty-two grams raw, chop it in half, get sixteen, double it times three. We got forty-eight, which mean a whole lot of cream. Divide the profit by four, subtract it by eight. We back to sixteen.” -Foxy Brown

72. “But you done broke my heart into a million pieces. I should have seen it coming, wish I had telekinesis.” -LMFAO

Related: Hilarious Sayings and Expressions

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.