New York is a state that offers gorgeous landscapes and bright lights in NYC. Next time you visit or think about it, remember funny New York jokes.
New York is a beautiful northeastern state in the United States.
It’s famous for bustling NYC and snowy winters upstate. It was also one of the thirteen original states with a lot of history.
Whether visiting, dreaming, or living there, get a good laugh from the following New York jokes.
Related: The Funniest Dry Humor Jokes
The best New York jokes
1. Why would New York City have dark circles under its eyes if it were a person?
It’s the city that never sleeps.
2. Where do eggs go on vacation?
New Yolk.
3. Why are New Yorkers always sad?
It’s because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
4. Why did New Year’s in NYC suck this year?
They dropped the ball.
5. Why shouldn’t you take winter in New York lightly?
It’s snow joke.
6. What’s the first thing British tourists do in New York City?
They go to the Statue of Liber-tea.
7. How do people greet each other in Lower Manhattan?
SoHo-w are you doing?
8. What are three words to describe men in New York City?
Man-hat-tan.
9. When’s the only time New Yorkers will get into a cab together without arguing?
After a bank robbery.
10. Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
11. Where’s the best place to charge your phone in New York?
The Battery.
12. Why do trees in Connecticut lean west?
It’s because New York sucks.
13. Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square.
14. Why did Eve want to leave the Garden of Eden for New York?
She fell for the Big Apple.
15. How do you know there’s a tourist in New York City?
They make eye contact.
16. How do you dress like a New Yorker?
Wear all black.
17. Why shouldn’t you argue with a New Yorker?
They’re always right.
18. What do former New Yorkers listen to when they miss home?
Sirens.
19. Why do so many people move from India to New York City?
There’s a Delhi on every corner.
20. What’s a dog’s favorite state?
New Yorkie.
21. What are the two opposing beliefs in New York City?
Fuhgeddaboutit and never forget.
22. How do you get on a New Yorker’s bad side?
Walk slowly.
23. What wakes up New Yorkers every morning?
The smell.
24. Where do ghosts go on vacation?
Boo York.
25. What’s the surprise at The High Line?
Come and you Chelsea.
26. Why can’t New York play chess?
It’s missing two towers.
27. Where does the devil cook?
Hell’s Kitchen.
28. When will New York City be a great place?
When they finish it.
29. Why don’t NYC police arrest people who run red traffic lights?
Traffic signals are guidelines.
30. How do you know a New Yorker is passionate about something?
They say, “Mad.”
31. Where’s the best place to get ice cream in New York?
Coney Island.
32. What do you call a muscular person in NYC?
New Yoked.
33. Where’s the CBD company’s headquarters?
The Hemp-ire State Building.
Related: The Funniest Jokes About Italy
Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.