100+ Funny Farm Jokes

There are many types of farms, as they can raise animals or grow crops. Next time you see one, remember farm jokes for a good laugh.

Farm animals in front of a barn.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Farming is growing plants or raising livestock to sell or use. A farm can be a business, hobby, or way to support yourself.

There are more than two million in the United States. Out of the millions, there are many types.

Several examples include dairy, flower, organic, dry, poultry, and hay farms.

Farms are essential, but they also offer a humorous side. The following are funny farm jokes to make you laugh.

Hilarious farm jokes

1. What kind of car can you find on a farm?

A Cattle-lac.

2. What do you call a farmer that’s stingy about wool?

A sheep-skate.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

3. What farm animal is good at keeping time?

A watchdog.

4. What’s a farmer’s favorite salad dressing?


5. What did the mother cow say to its calf?

It’s pasture bedtime.

6. What do you say to greet a farm?


7. Why didn’t anyone believe the farmer?

They were full of crop.

8. Why won’t the dog listen to the farmer’s animal jokes?

He’s herd them all.

9. How did the farmer find the lost sheep?

They tractor down.

10. What’s another name for a happy farmer?

A jolly rancher.

11. What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

12. Why does the mushroom get invitations to every party?

He’s a fungi.

13. Why shouldn’t you share secrets on a farm?

The corn has ears.

14. What do you call a chicken’s spirit that haunts a farm?

A poultry-geist.

15. What do you call the boss at Old McDonald’s Farm?


16. How did the organic vegetable pass away?

Natural causes.

17. Why did the scarecrow win an award?

It was out standing in its field.

18. Where do farmers get medicine?

The farm-acy.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

19. What do you call someone who doesn’t like farms?

A hay-ter.

20. Where do you take a sick horse?

The horse-pital.

21. Did you hear about the corn farm?

It’s a-maize-ing.

22. What kind of pig can do martial arts?

A pork chop.

23. What did the cow say after the farmer was being rude?

How dairy?

24. Why shouldn’t you make plans with a hay farmer?

They always bale.

25. Why did the farmer use a magnifying glass?

To run their micro-farm.

26. How did the two farmers start dating?

It was organic.

27. What does a farmer say when they disagree with you?

Egg-ree to dis-egg-ree.

28. What does a farmer do when something comes at their head?


29. What does a farmer that loves their job say?

I was barn to farm.

30. What do farmers talk about while milking cows?

Udder nonsense.

31. What did the baby corn say to its mother?

Where’s popcorn?

32. What do farmers watch on TV?

Farm-ula One.

33. What did the farmer say before starting an apiary?

To bee or not to bee.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

34. What’s a wind turbine’s favorite color?


35. What do you call a cow that’s afraid?

A cow-herd.

36. Which animal on the farm is the quietest?

The shhh-eep.

37. When’s milk the freshest?

When it’s still in the cow.

38. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

They don’t want to crack up.

39. Why didn’t the farmer build a stable?

They got colt feet.

40. What’s a cow’s favorite class in school?


41. How do farmers make circles in the field?

They use a pro-tractor.

42. Why did the pig take a bath?

The farmer said, “Hogwash.”

43. What did the farmer call the chicken that tries too hard?


44. What do farmers call someone in pain?

An acre.

45. Why was the female farmer cold?

She lost harvest.

46. What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

47. How did the farmer get lost?

There was a maize.

48. What did the farmer say to their spouse on date night?

You look radish-ing.

49. What’s a farmer’s favorite movie?

50 Shades of Hay.

50. Did you hear about the new cow on the farm?

I haven’t seen herbivore.

51. What did the farmer say after seeing a baby chicken?

Chick it out.

52. What did the sheep say to its wife?

Ewe are the one for me.

53. What do sheep wear to the beach?

A baa-kini.

54. Why aren’t farmers photographers?

Their photos are grainy.

Farmer holding a pitchfork.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

55. Why did the dog count 20 sheep when the farmer counted 18?

The dog rounded them up.

56. Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It became a field.

57. What’s a farmer’s favorite Bruce Springsteen song?

Born in the USDA.

58. Why did the police arrest the turkey?

They suspected it of fowl play.

59. What did the farmer say to the nervous goat?

You’ve goat this.

60. Why did the farmer sit in the field?

To get peas and quiet.

61. What did the farmer say when those around him were complaining?

Don’t kale my vibe.

62. Why are so many people becoming farmers?

It’s a growing field.

63. What’s a farmer’s favorite OutKast song?

Hay Ya!

64. What did the duck say after the farmer told jokes?

You quack me up.

65. Why can’t you see a farmer’s entire image on social media?

They always crop it.

66. What do you call a stampede at a dairy farm?

Udder chaos.

Cow running.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

67. What did the farmer call the cow as it ate grass?

A lawn moo-er.

68. What does a chicken say to the farmer when it wants to be alone?

Cluck off.

69. What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neighbor.

70. What did the farmer give to the sick pig?


71. Where does a farmer’s child go to school?


72. Did you hear about the wooden tractor?

It had wooden wheels, a wooden engine, wooden transmission, and wooden work.

73. What’s a horse’s favorite game?

Stable tennis.

74. What do farmers use to listen to music?

Beets by Dre.

75. What do you call a spiritual leader on a farm?

The Dalai Llama.

76. Why are farmers cruel?

They pull corn by the ears.

77. Why did the cow jump over the moon?

The farmer had cold hands.

78. Did you know grain farmers struggle?

They barley survive from wheat to wheat.

79. Where do cows go to eat lunch?

The calf-eteria.

80. Why do cows like farm jokes?

They like to be a-moo-sed.

81. Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?

He was a real boar.

82. What does a farmer say before going on a road trip?

Alpaca bag.

83. Why don’t corn farmers like dad jokes?

They’re too corny.

84. What do beekeepers say when you ask about their apiary?

It’s none of your bees-ness.

85. What’s the most common sickness among farmers?

Hay fever.

86. What do farmers give cows to read every morning?

The moos-paper.

87. How do farmers party?

They turnip.

88. What kind of horses only go out at night?


89. Who tells the best chicken jokes?

A comedi-hen.

90. What do you call a cow without legs?

Ground beef.

91. What did the farmer say after losing a cow?

I made a miss-steak.

92. What’s the best farm animal?

The goat.

93. What did the pig say when it felt like the farmer didn’t give it enough attention?

You take me for grunted.

94. What do farmers call their dads?


Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

95. What’s a farmer’s favorite circus production?

Cirque du Soil.

96. What’s a farmer’s favorite Miley Cyrus song?

Party in the USDA.

97. What’s a potato’s least favorite day of the week?


98. What did the farmer call the cool pig?


99. What kind of animal do you get if you cross an angry sheep and an upset cow?

One that’s in a baa-d moo-d.

100. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

They lactose.

101. What’s a sheep’s favorite game?


102. What do you get when a hen lays an egg on top of a farm?

An egg roll.

103. What do you call a cow during an earthquake?

A milkshake.

104. How much does a farm cost?

A farm and a leg.

Related: Squirrel Puns

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.