Harry Potter is one of the most popular novels and film series ever. Whether a Potterhead or new to it, read funny Harry Potter jokes to laugh.
The Harry Potter books and movies are excellent.
They’re about Harry Potter discovering he’s a wizard. Also, he attends the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The series features magic, mystery, friendship, and love. There are also many things to find humorous.
The following are hilarious Harry Potter jokes to make you laugh.
Funny Harry Potter jokes
1. Why does Voldemort prefer Twitter and Instagram over Facebook?
Because he has followers, not friends.
2. Why’s Mad-Eye Moody a bad teacher?
He can’t control his pupils.
3. What sport does Harry Potter play to get rid of a rash?
Quidditch.
4. What do Azkaban prisoners use to freshen their breath?
De-Mentos.
5. Why does Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?
So you’ll never know which side he’s on.
6. Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking?
It was making him moody.
7. How many wizards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the light bulb and one to rotate the room.
8. How do the Malfoys enter a building?
They Slytherin.
9. On a scale of one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you?
About nine and three quarters.
10. How many Slytherins does it take to stir a cauldron?
Just one. They put in their wand, and the cauldron revolves around them.
11. What does Harry Potter order at a bar?
Something Gin-ny.
12. Why does Harry Potter make a good programmer?
He speaks Python.
13. Why couldn’t Harry find Hermione?
He was looking in all the Ron places.
14. What do you call Quidditch players sharing a home?
Broom-mates.
15. What do wizards in Harry Potter use instead of laxatives?
Expellianus.
16. What do you call an electrocuted Dark Lord?
A Volt-emort.
17. Why did Harry Potter get in trouble at school?
He was cursing in class.
18. Why doesn’t Voldemort wear glasses?
No one nose.
19. Why did Ron ask Rubeus Hagrid for an autograph?
He’s a giant fan.
20. How do wizards enter a gym?
Through the Dumble-door.
21. What’s a wizard’s favorite drink?
Espresso Patronum.
22. How does Harry Potter edit photos?
By using a Dobby Photoshop.
23. What’s Hagrid’s favorite toy?
A Rubeus Cube.
24. How many Hufflepuffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
All of them.
25. Why didn’t Harry Potter laugh at jokes?
He was Sirius.
26. When does Harry Potter throw away potions?
After the hex-piration date.
27. Where can you find Dumbledore’s Army?
Up his sleeve-y.
28. What’s the difference between a comma and Crookshanks?
Crookshanks has claws at the end of his paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
29. Why isn’t Fluffy a good dancer?
He has two left feet.
30. What’s Bigfoot’s favorite book?
Hairy Potter.
31. What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?
Gifted.
32. What does Garrick Ollivander do all day?
He wanders.
33. Why did Lucius Malfoy cross the road twice?
He’s a double-crosser.
34. Why does Neville always use two bathroom stalls?
He has a Longbottom.
35. Why does Voldemort love Nagini so much?
She gives him hugs and hisses.
36. What do you call a postal carrier that speaks to packages?
A parcel tongue.
37. Which side of a centaur has more hair?
The outside.
38. How can you tell if someone’s a pureblood?
They’ll tell you.
39. What is Aragog’s favorite day of the week?
Fly-day.
40. What do you call a Potterhead riding a horse?
Harry Trotter.
41. What type of shoes does Voldemort wear?
Horcrocs.
42. What do you call a wizard that was robbed by Muggles?
Muggled.
43. Why doesn’t Snape teach botany?
Because his Lily died.
44. Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his best friend and his potion pot?
They’re both cauldron.
45. How much does it cost to watch Harry play his favorite sport?
A quid each.
46. What’s a wizard’s favorite social media platform?
Snape-chat.
47. Which Hogwarts professor gets blamed for everything?
Professor Snape-goat.
48. How does Harry Potter enter a room?
Through the Gryffin-door.
49. What type of drink does Snape hate the most?
Jameson.
50. What kind of fuel does Harry Potter put in his car?
Expecto Petrolium.
51. Why did Harry Potter get pulled over for speeding?
He didn’t expect-no-patrol-man.
52. What did Voldemort tell Wormtail when they went bowling?
Kill the spare.
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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.