55+ Hilarious Monday Jokes to Get You Through the Week

Monday is the beginning of the work and school week. If you’re already missing the weekend, read Monday jokes to beat the Monday blues.

Monday.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Monday is the second day of the week. It’s also the first of the school and work week.

Instead of thinking of Monday as a dreadful day, beat the Monday blues with humor.

It can also help you be more productive by putting you in the right mindset.

The following are the best Monday jokes to make you laugh.

The funniest Monday jokes

1. What’s the bright side of Mondays?

It only happens once a week.

2. Who wins in a fight, Sunday or Monday?

Sunday because Monday is a weekday.

3. What do you call a person who’s happy on Monday?

Unemployed.

Monday sticker.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

4. What kind of movie would Monday be?

A long and boring one.

5. Which day of the week is more depressing than Monday?

Sadder-day.

6. What does the calendar say after Monday and Tuesday?

WTF.

7. How is Monday like a math problem?

Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness.

Monday calendar page.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

8. Why was the broom late for work on Monday morning?

It over-swept.

9. What’s the worst Monday you can have?

The next one.

10. What day of the week gets the most groans?

Moan-day.

11. What’s the worst sound on Monday?

The alarm clock.

12. What’s the hardest part about Monday if rolling out of bed is easy?

Getting up off the floor.

13. Why did Selena Gomez break up with The Weeknd on a Monday?

She wished The Weeknd was longer.

14. Why don’t skeletons laugh at Monday jokes?

They don’t find them humerus.

15. Why didn’t the cat go to work on Monday?

It wasn’t feline well.

16. What’s the worst thing after Friday the 13th?

Monday the 16th.

Monday.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

17. Why does Boba Fett rest from Tuesday through Sunday?

He was a Monday-lorian.

18. Why wasn’t the skeleton productive on Monday?

Its heart wasn’t in it.

19. Do you know about the Gregorian calendar?

Monday: Greg, Tuesday: Ian, Wednesday: Greg, Thursday: Ian, Friday: Greg, Saturday: Ian, Sunday: Greg.

20. How do you make time go fast on Monday?

Throw a clock.

21. What’s the most annoying thing for football players starting the week?

Monday morning quarterbacks.

22. What does an executioner say on Monday morning?

Time to beheaded to work.

23. Guess what I’d do if Monday ever showed its face?

I’d punch it.

24. Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison at the start of the week?

It was Monday laundering.

25. What’s the best advice for getting through the week?

Take it Monday at a time.

Monday in cursive.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

26. What does Sonic need a lot of on Mondays?

Hedge-hugs.

27. What’s the number one thing kids wish for during the school year?

A foot of snow.

28. Why couldn’t the robot focus on Monday?

It was rusty.

29. Why does Gordon Ramsay not like WWE on Monday Nights?

It’s RAW.

30. On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week.

It runs until Friday.

31. Which day of the week makes werewolves howl?

Moon-day.

32. What’s the worst way to spend 1/7th of your life?

Monday.

33. How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?

Tell her a joke on Tuesday.

34. What’s the best word to describe Monday?

Monday-ne.

35. Which organ is grateful for Monday?

The liver.

36. Do you know about the Case of the Mondays?

It’s only on Tuesday that you realize it’s a pre-existing condition.

37. Which day of the week can women take off anytime?

Men-day.

38. How does a root vegetable feel on Monday?

Up-beet.

39. What did the calendar maker do after creating an entry for Monday?

They called it a day.

40. If every day is a gift.

Can I return Monday without a gift receipt?

41. Why was the Skittle excited to go to school on Monday?

It wanted to be a Smartie.

42. What’s the best herb to eat on Mondays?

Encourage-mint.

43. What does cheese say on Mondays?

Have a gouda week.

44. Why was the acid so rude on Monday?

It was a-mean-o-acid.

45. Which day of the week are demons the most exhausted?

De-Mondays.

46. Why did God give Mondays to humans?

As a punishment for things humans do over the weekend.

47. How do almonds feel on Monday?

It drives them nuts.

48. How do hens feel on Monday?

Eggs-hausted.

49. What does a cyclops say on Monday?

Eye don’t want to get up.

50. Where does Monday come before Sunday?

A dictionary.

Monday in cursive.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

51. Why shouldn’t you be too sad about Monday?

It was a sadder day 48 hours ago.

52. What part of Monday is the saddest?

Monday mournings.

53. Why does everyone think about the past on Monday?

Because Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were the days.

54. What’s worse than a rainy Friday?

A sunny Monday.

55. Why does everyone love Tuesdays?

It’s the furthest away you can get from Mondays.

56. Why’s Sunday afraid of Monday?

Monday through Friday.

57. What do you call a Monday without meetings?

Meet-less Mondays.

58. A day on Venus lasts 5,832 hours.

It’s the same as one Monday on Earth.

Related: Funny Quotes About Aging and Getting Older

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.

David Em.

David Em

David Em is the founder of Humor Living. He launched Humor Living to create a destination for you to visit anytime you need a laugh. Whether you’re looking for jokes, puns, memes, or funny stories, Humor Living is the place to be.