55+ Hilarious Teenager Quotes to Make Parents Laugh

Raising teens is a roller coaster. It can be stressful, yet wonderful. Take a step back and laugh with the funniest teenager quotes for parents.

Teenager wearing a backpack and holding books.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Mood swings, risky behavior, and irresponsibility can describe the teenage years.

But it’s not all bad. There are many amazing and sweet times.

It’s a time of growth and transition as your kids become adults.

Change is essential and normal for teens. As a parent, be there for your teen.

Also, know that you’re not alone. Relax and laugh with the following teenager quotes for a good laugh.

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Relatable and funny teenager quotes

1. “When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” -Nora Ephron

2. “Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.” -Arnold H. Glasow

3. “My son made the mistake of telling me I was being overdramatic, so I changed the Wi-Fi password. We’ll see who’s overdramatic in about five minutes.” -Unknown

4. “Having a teenager is like having a cat that only comes out to eat and hisses if you try to pet it.” -Unknown

Funny quote about teenagers being like cats.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

5. “I remember the first time I heard a teenager say ‘LOL.’ Just what? But it means ‘laugh.’ Why don’t you just laugh? What are you doing?” -J. K. Rowling

6. “I shut my teen’s bedroom door to make my house feel cleaner.” -Unknown

7. “It’s so exciting. My son turned 14, and now he knows everything! Everything! I don’t have to tell him anything anymore because he already knows! In fact, he knows more than I do and more than his dad does! We couldn’t be more thrilled. What a joyous time.” -Michele Tafoya

8. “I went from ‘Mama’ to ‘Mommy’ to ‘Mom’ to ‘Hey, can I have $20?'” -Unknown

9. “Teen tried to make a dramatic exit by slamming my door, but there was a towel on the knob. No slam and no dignity for her as I died laughing.” -Stephanie Ortiz

10. “How lucky am I that every time I tell my kids to do something, they respond with, ‘I know.’ It’s like I’m living amongst geniuses.” -Unknown

11. “Parenting teenage boys is basically spending your day asking questions like, ‘Whose hoodie is this?’ ‘What happened to all the groceries I just bought?’ ‘Did you shower today?’ ‘What is that smell?'” -Unknown

12. “If saying, ‘Pick up your socks,’ and ‘I don’t care what your friends get to do,’ every day for 7 years sounds awesome, you’re going to love having a teenager.” -Unknown

13. “The average American teenager sends or receives 75 text messages a day, though one girl in Sacramento managed to handle an average of 10,000 every 24 hours for a month.” -Pico Iyer

14. “Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.” -Fran Lebowitz

15. “I don’t know any teenager with a positive attitude.” -Gabourey Sidibe

16. “Teenagers complain there’s nothing to do, then stay out all night doing it.” -Bob Phillips

17. “Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.” -Carol Burnett

18. “Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It’s about hanging on during a very bumpy ride.” -Ron Taffel

19. “Real teenage boys aren’t like characters in the books you read. They smell funny and are obsessed with video games and say dumb things. They’re still learning, just like you.” -Stacey Jay

20. “If you just watch a teenager, you see a lot of uncertainty.” -Jamie Lee Curtis

21. “All teenagers have this desire to somehow run away.” -Joan Chen

22. “Nothing makes me more nervous than a text from my teenage son that says, ‘How soon will you and mom be home?'” -Unknown

Funny quote about teenage sons.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

23. “Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.” -Unknown

24. “Having teenagers is like living with a bowling alley inside your head.” -Unknown

25. “Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.” -Ray Romano

26. “Mother Nature is providential. She gives us twelve years to develop a love for our children before turning them into teenagers.” -William Galvin

27. “The main problem with teenagers is that they’re just like their parents were at their age.” -Unknown

28. “The problem with disciplining a teenager is that in no time at all you begin to sound like one yourself.” -Unknown

29. “I never really appreciated just how annoying I was until I gave birth to mini versions of myself and started arguing with them when they became teenagers.” -Unknown

30. “Raising teenagers is like trying to wrestle slippery pigs with your hands tied behind your back.” -Unknown

31. “If you want to get closer to God drive in the passenger seat with a teenage driver. You’ll be reciting prayers you haven’t said in years.” -Unknown

32. “The funny thing about kids is, they are the reason we lose it and the reason we hold it together.” -Unknown

33. “The young always have the same problem – how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another.” -Quentin Crisp

34. “Bribes are the glue that kept the teenagers and the parents connected for generations.” -Gayle Forman

35. “The scariest part of raising teenagers is remembering the stupid things you did as a teenager.” -Unknown

36. “I know I’m supposed to be preparing my teenager for life and all, but it’s hard when they already know everything…” -Unknown

37. “Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.” -Ogden Nash

38. “Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected.” -Robert Orben

39. “Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.” -Phyllis Diller

40. “Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.” -Erma Bombeck

41. “Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.” -Red Skelton

42. “As a mom of teenagers sometimes all I need is a hug and someone to tell me everything is going to be okay. Oh, and a million dollars, a week in the Bahamas and a bottle of wine would be nice too.” -Unknown

43. “Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.” -Doug Larson

44. “When your child is little, all you want is for them to play alone in their room for an hour so you can have some peace and quiet. Then they become teenagers, and all you want is for them to come out of their room for an hour and actually talk to you.” -Unknown

45. “Kids are a great analogy. You want your kids to grow up, and you don’t want your kids to grow up. You want your kids to become independent of you, but it’s also a parent’s worst nightmare: That they won’t need you. It’s like the real tragedy of parenting.” -Jonathan Safran Foer

46. “You know you’re the parent of a teenager if they won’t answer any of your calls, but they will call you 30 times in a row until you answer.” -Unknown

47. “Nobody ever feels they’re doing well with teenagers, he said. I think that’s kind of the point of them.” -Jojo Moyes

Funny teenager quote by Jojo Moyes.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

48. “Sometimes I’m left with the distinct feeling that I am outnumbered by my only child.” -Colleen Ferrary Bader

49. “Teenagers. Everything is so apocalyptic.” -Kami Garcia

50. “I thought raising teenagers would be like those goofy old Brady Bunch episodes about curfews, acne and dating. It’s not. It’s more like Survivor meets Dateline – hang in there and don’t murder anyone.” -Unknown

51. “You try your hardest to raise your teenagers with patience, honesty and good manners, but they still end up being like you.” -Unknown

52. “According to my teenage sons, the appropriate number of squirts of Axe Body Spray is somewhere between 38 and 579.” -Lady Lawya

53. “I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford.” -Dave Barry

54. “Teens are dealing with the same problems now in the ’90s as they did back in the ’70s, the only real difference is the clothes we wear!” -Mila Kunis

55. “Vampires and teens have a lot in common. Teens have surging hormones, vampires have surging blood lust. Teenagers think they’re immortal.” -P. C. Cast

Funny teenager quote by P. C. Cast.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

56. “Teens are not like the weird, dumb dwarves you have around your house. They are actually you when you were younger.” -Matthew Tobin Anderson

57. “My wife Judy and I have two kids: Connor, 17, and Meghan, who is 14. My wife and I no longer worry about what we become – we are worried about what our children become.” -Kevin McCarthy

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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.