Coffee is one of the most popular drinks around the globe. If you can’t imagine a day without it, read hilarious coffee jokes for a laugh.
It takes almost a year for it to mature after flowering. Each tree produces about 10 pounds of coffee beans per year.
Coffee is an excellent way to start your day. But you can also drink it later when you need an energy boost.
There are a lot of espresso and coffee varieties. So, finding one that you love isn’t challenging.
Laugh while you have a cup with the following coffee jokes.
Funny coffee jokes
1. Do you know how many people drink coffee?
2. How did the hipster burn their tongue?
They drank coffee before it was cool.
3. When does a person lose their coffee?
After getting mugged.
4. What do baristas say to gossip?
Spill the beans.
5. What’s a barista’s favorite programming language?
6. What did the coffee say after seeing something cool?
7. How are coffee beans like kids?
They both get grounded.
8. What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
9. What’s a barista’s favorite exercise?
The French press.
10. Why was the barista fired?
They kept showing up in a tea-shirt.
11. Why can’t you trust coffee beans to get things done?
12. What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
13. How do Italians make coffee with personality?
They espresso themselves.
14. How does Moses make coffee?
15. How does a coffee snob take their coffee?
16. How does a barista laugh?
17. What do you call it when you walk into a new coffee shop but feel like you’ve been there before?
18. How long should a cup of coffee last?
The lungo, the better.
19. What do you call an espresso that costs a penny?
A cheap shot.
20. Why did the espresso keep looking at the clock?
It was pressed for time.
21. What does a coffee-loving couple name their son?
22. How do you pay for coffee in space?
Related: How do you organize a space party?
23. What does a barista say every morning?
Rise and grind.
24. What did the barista say after forgetting to add ice cream to the espresso?
I’m sorry, affogato.
25. What do you call a good-looking barista?
26. What did one coffee bean say to the other?
We’re the perfect blend.
27. How do coffee cups greet each other?
With mugs and kisses.
28. Why do people call coffee mud?
It was ground right before.
29. What did the coffee bean say to its child who was out too late?
Where have you bean?
30. How do baristas come up with new ideas?
By putting on their thinking cappuccino.
31. What did the coffee bean say to the grinder?
You keep me grounded.
32. What wakes up the coffee beans every morning?
33. How did the barista become rich?
They won the latte-ry.
34. Why should you get a premium coffee machine?
It has a lot of perks.
35. Why did the barista wear a surgical mask?
It was a cough-y filter.
36. What did the Brazilian coffee say to the Indonesian coffee?
What’s Sumatra with you?
37. How’s the coffee party going?
Caffeine a great time.
38. What do you call a mean barista?
39. What did the espresso say to the milk?
You’re steaming hot.
40. How’s divorce like espresso?
Expensive and bitter.
41. What did the barista say after being teased?
Don’t mocha fun of me.
42. Why’s instant coffee so rude?
It has no filter.
43. Why shouldn’t you make fun of baristas?
They’ll roast you.
44. What do you call a barista at a car repair shop?
45. Who makes coffee in Star Wars?
Java the Hutt.
46. What do you call the first level in a coffee factory?
The ground floor.
47. What do cows drink every morning?
48. What do baristas watch during lunch breaks?
49. What’s a coffee bean’s favorite karaoke song?
Hit Me With Your Best Shot.
50. What’s the best Beatles song, according to a barista?
51. What do you call a layoff notice given to a bag of coffee?
Grounds for termination.
52. Which geometry object waits for you at a coffee shop?
53. What kind of espresso helps you relax?
54. What kind of coffee can you use for baking?
55. Who’s Al Pacino’s coffee-loving sibling?
56. Would you do anything for coffee?
By any beans necessary.
57. What does a barista say if they can’t remember your name?
Sorry, affogato your name.
58. What does an inspirational coffee say?
Brew can do it.
59. What does a barista do before jumping into a pool?
Doppio toes in the water.
60. What did the coffee say to the tea?
Come to the dark side.
61. What do you call it when someone makes coffee every morning at work?
The daily grind.
62. What kind of coffee do birds drink?
63. What does a blended coffee say when it doesn’t care?
I don’t give a frappe.
Related: Funny Dry Humor Jokes
Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.
David Em is the founder of Humor Living. He launched Humor Living to create a destination for you to visit anytime you need a laugh. Whether you’re looking for jokes, puns, memes, or funny stories, Humor Living is the place to be.