60+ Funny Squirrel Jokes That’ll Drive You Nuts

Squirrels are cute and small rodents you’ll find all over the globe. Next time you see one, get a laugh with funny squirrel jokes.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Squirrels are rodents with bushy tails, cute bodies, and outstanding capabilities.

There are more than 200 species, ranging in size from a few inches to a few feet.

While they’re adorable and fun to watch, squirrels have many talents. They can smell food under a foot of snow and run up to 20 mph.

Whether you see or love the species, get a good laugh with the following squirrel jokes.

The funniest squirrel jokes

1. What’s a squirrel’s favorite ballet?

The Nutcracker.

2. How are squirrels so good at saving money?

They squirrel it away.

Squirrel silhouette.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

3. How do squirrels stream TV shows and movies?


4. How do you get a squirrel’s attention?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.

5. What do rich squirrels eat?


6. What do you call a fight between squirrels?

A s-quarrel.

7. What did one squirrel say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

I’m nuts about you.

8. What did the squirrel say to his girlfriend?

Nut-hing compares to you.

9. Why are squirrels in good shape?

They do a lot of cardio by getting chased by dogs.

10. What’s a squirrel’s favorite spice?


11. Who do squirrels see when they become overweight?

The nut-ritionist.

12. What’s a squirrel’s favorite exercise?


13. How did the squirrel impress its date?

It went out on a limb.

14. What kind of joke does a squirrel like?

Acorn-y one.

15. What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a sea creature?

A squirr-eel.

16. Which famous squirrel tells the future?


17. What do you call a squirrel in space?

An astro-nut.

18. Which squirrel is in charge of a bank?

The branch manager.

19. Did you hear about what squirrels are doing now?

It’s just nuts.

Squirrel holding an acorn.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

20. Why did the squirrel get lost in the forest?

It followed the wrong root.

21. What’s a squirrel’s least favorite kind of flower?


22. What do you call a squirrel detective?

Squirrel-ock Holmes.

23. What do you call a holy squirrel?

A chip-monk.

24. What kind of stories do squirrels like?

Long tails.

25. What does a robot squirrel eat?

Nuts and bolts.

26. What’s a squirrel’s favorite game?


27. What do you call a squirrel that can withstand interrogation?

A tough nut to crack.

28. What do you call a female squirrel?

A gir-rel.

29. I was banned from my local part after arranging squirrels by height.

They didn’t like me critter sizing.

30. What did the baby squirrel say after being surprised?

Are you kit-ding me?

31. Why are squirrels the best at explaining things?

They give it to you in a nutshell.

32. What do squirrels wear on their feet?


33. Why did the squirrel bury tuna?

Because tuna spelled backward is “a nut.”

34. What does a squirrel say when it can’t decide on something?

I’m on the fence about this.

35. What kind of squirrel is the best?

The Gray-t Squirrel.

36. What does a squirrel say when it changes its mind?

Abert the mission.

37. Why did the squirrel begin selling nuts?

To become a Brazilian-aire.

38. What do you call two squirrels getting married?

Tying the nut.

39. How do squirrels keep track of their acorns?

On a nut-pad.

40. Why don’t squirrels have friends?

They drive everyone nuts.

41. What does a squirrel say to reassure others?

I Mearn-t what I said.

42. What does a squirrel that’s confident in its answer say?


43. What happens to a squirrel that cheats in a competition?

It gets di-squirrel-ified.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

44. How do squirrels make acorns come to them?

They use mag-nuts.

45. At what angle do flying squirrels see?

Abert’s-eye view.

46. Why are some squirrels so smart?

They red all the books.

47. What do you call it when squirrels give away acorns?


48. Why did the squirrel go to sleep before everyone else?

It had to wake up squirrel-y.

49. In which class do squirrels learn about their bodies?


50. What do you call a crazy squirrel?

A lu-nut-ic.

51. Why did the squirrel cover an acorn with chocolate?

It wanted a coco-nut.

52. Why do squirrels let their acorns sit in water?

To let them mari-nut.

53. What do you call a squirrel that doesn’t move?


54. How do you make a nut spin?

Give it a squirrel.

55. What kind of steak does a squirrel eat?


56. What kind of tomatoes do squirrels like?


57. What do you call a squirrel that loves nuts?


58. What do you call a group of squirrels?

A commu-nut-y.

59. What do you call it when squirrels see each other after a long time?


60. What do you call an infamous squirrel?


Squirrel looking up.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

61. How do squirrels remember where they buried their nuts?

By using acorn-yms.

62. What do squirrels say to encourage others?

The squirrel-d is your oyster.

Related: Hilarious Minecraft Jokes to Dig Up a Laugh

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.