50+ Hilarious Bagel Puns to Make You Laugh

Bagels are versatile and delicious. They’re a popular food you can enjoy anytime. Next time you have one, remember funny bagel puns for a laugh.

Everything bagel.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

A fresh bagel out of the toaster with cream cheese is incredible.

It’s a unique type of bread that bakers poach in water before baking.

There are also many types of bagels. Plain, everything, blueberry, and chocolate are a few examples.

Bagels date back to 17th-century Poland. Today, they’re a classic breakfast item you can enjoy anytime.

The following are the funniest bagel puns that are everything you can imagine.

The best bagel puns

1. Bagels are everything.

2. You’re the cream cheese to my bagel.

3. We’re bae-goals.

4. The sesame bagel had to stop talking. It’s seed a lot already.

Bagel.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

5. The only bagel that can fly is a plane bagel.

6. On Sundays, bagels feel holey.

7. I don’t want to raise kids because I’m already raisin bagels.

Basket of bagels.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

8. No, it’s not a donut. It’s egg bagel.

9. My doctor said I need to eat more hole foods. So, I only eat bagels now.

10. I saw a bagel at the zoo. It was bread in captivity.

11. I was forced to eat a bagel without toppings. It was plain-ful.

12. The de-bagel has been a complete mess.

13. I bagel your pardon.

14. Bagel up when you get in the car.

15. One of the biggest wild cats is the Bagel tiger.

16. It still bagels my mind.

17. The bagel was sad after a breakup. It said, “I feel like I have a hole in my heart.”

18. I quit my job at the bagel shop because it was crumby.

19. I ate a bagel at a haunted house. I said to my friends, “Asiago-st,” but no one believed me.

20. Seagulls fly over the sea. If they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.

21. Monsters eat bagels with scream cheese.

Two bagel slices with cream cheese.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

22. There’s only one way to keep your bagels safe. Put lox on them.

23. The bagel said to the toaster, “Just crust me.”

24. The bagel lost the election because it was a victim of a schmear campaign.

25. Just bagel, calm, and collected.

26. Bagels are my favorite dog breed.

27. When Vanilla Ice ate his first bagel, he said, “Slice, slice, baby.”

28. The bagel walked into a church and left saying, “I’m already holey.”

29. I forgot my bagels and fish during a fire in my home. I went back and found a smoked salmon bagel.

30. A store that sells only bagels and donuts is called Hole Foods.

31. After scoring a goal, the bagel said, “Ba-goal!”

Two bagel slices.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

32. I bought my wife bagel-den ring.

33. I want to become bagel-fer.

34. A universe full of bagels is a bagel-axy.

35. The judge gave a bagel-ty verdict.

36. He’s bagel-lible person.

37. A room full of bagel paintings is a bagel-lery.

38. I went to Italy and ate bagel-a.

39. I will eat bagels for the whole wheat.

40. The lazy bagel was slow to rise.

41. When you cross a bagel with a cupcake, you get a hy-bread.

42. The bagel won’t stop talking. It keeps going onion on about its flavor.

43. I’m trying a new bagel shop. I’ve heard a lot of cheddar about it.

44. A pilot’s favorite type of bagel is plain.

45. Before getting eaten, the bagel said, “Excuse me. I propose a toast.”

46. I went bagel tasting and asked if they had sweet ones. They said, “No, we have sourdough.”

47. One of my favorite word games is Bagel.

48. I bought a new belt bagel.

49. The bagel went to jail because it kept picking lox.

50. You can’t always trust bagels. They can be seedy sometimes.

51. A Spanish bagel calls its dad poppy.

52. A Jamaican’s favorite type of bagel is cinnamon.

53. I told the sesame bagel to have a seed.

54. The bagel was a witness and said, “I’ve cinnamon walking in before the crime.”

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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.