65+ Hilarious Soccer Puns to Score a Laugh

Soccer is the most popular sport in the world. Whether playing or watching, get a good laugh with the funniest soccer puns.

Soccer ball.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Soccer has a global appeal. Everyone outside of the United States refers to the sport as football.

Soccer is popular because it’s accessible. Anyone can play it, and it’s also fun to watch.

Whether you play the sport or are a big fan, read the following soccer puns for a laugh.

Funny soccer puns

1. I’m a soccer for you.

2. My girlfriend’s a goalie. She’s definitely a keeper.

3. I get a kick out of you.

4. A ghost’s favorite soccer position is ghoul-ie.

5. Soccer is the best way to kick off the day.

Soccer player kicking the ball.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

6. Cinderella can’t play soccer because she runs away from the ball.

7. If you want to feel safe, find a defender.

8. When a dinosaur kicks a goal, it’s called a dino-score.

9. When Santa plays soccer, he’s the coal-keeper.

10. Grasshoppers don’t watch soccer. They watch cricket.

11. Soccer players drink penal-tea.

12. Use a soccer match to light up a stadium.

13. Soccer players are goal-oriented.

14. Goalies don’t wear bulletproof vests because they block the shot.

15. The soccer player was upset on their birthday because someone gave them a red card.

16. Let’s kick some grass.

17. The soccer ball quit because it was tired of being kicked around.

18. It takes balls to play soccer.

19. It’s good to have goals.

20. What’s up, pitches?

21. I’m a goal-lector.

22. You need to have assist-em.

23. We need to handball the situation.

24. Soccer players eat cereal out of a soccer bowl.

Person's foot on a soccer ball.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

25. Don’t play soccer in the jungle because there are too many cheetahs.

26. The soccer field became a triangle after someone took a corner.

27. Soccer players know how to use their heads.

28. Of cross you did.

29. Soccer players and magicians have one thing in common, hat tricks.

30. My dog doesn’t want to play soccer. Maybe it’s because he’s a boxer.

31. The soccer player that doesn’t care about the past or present is the forward.

32. I saw you soccer in the arm.

33. The soccer player’s kid was sent off to school.

34. Don’t be a pass-hole.

35. You’re soccer-ageous.

36. I’m volley-nteering for the local soccer game.

37. I’m free kick-ing out about it.

38. Soccer players are tricky because they know how to set traps.

39. You can trust soccer players with precious items, especially the goal-d-keeper.

40. The only dog breed that plays soccer is the goal-den retriever.

41. Left and right midfielders eat wings after the game.

42. Punt-il next time.

43. I shot you should know the truth.

44. I’m soccer-ious about the history of sports.

Soccer player kicking a ball.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

45. You can pay with soccer balls. It’s soccer-rency.

46. An evil soccer player may soccer-se you.

47. It’s past your soccer-few.

48. Making good soccer puns is my goal.

49. I’ll pass this time.

50. It’s time to throw in the towel.

51. Soccer players stay cool by standing near the fans.

52. Soccer referees send out yellow cards during the holidays.

Soccer player name puns

1. It’s getting Messi.

2. I can’t PelĂ©-ve it.

3. You can stop. Neymar.

4. Gareth will Bale you out.

5. I Kanté-ll the difference.

6. When a soccer player studies biology, they use a Pedri dish.

Soccer ball.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

7. Lukaku! You look amazing.

8. I carry my laptop in a Messi-nger bag.

9. We have to Salah-brate.

10. Soccer players wake up Erling in the morning.

11. Watch out. Eden is a Hazard.

12. I’ll have one Modric. Then, I’m calling it a night.

13. I’m staying here Foden time being.

14. Alisson up.

15. I’m so happy to see you. It’s been Salah-ng.

Related: Hilarious Monday Jokes to Get You Through the Week

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.