Humor is excellent for children because it relaxes them and encourages creativity. Read funny quotes for kids that are worth sharing to get laughs.
Humor plays a crucial role in children’s development.
It fosters creativity and imagination. It also helps them understand language and social norms.
A good sense of humor is essential.
The following are funny quotes for kids. They’re sure to laugh after hearing the quotes.
Funny quotes for kids
1. “I was thinking that we all learn by experience, but some of us have to go to summer school.” -Peter De Vries
2. “All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.” -Casey Stengel
3. “Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?” -Phyllis Diller
4. “Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.” -Jules Renard
5. “I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” -Douglas Adams
6. “The difference between try and triumph is just a little umph!” -Marvin Phillips
7. “By all means let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.” -Richard Dawkins
8. “Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.” -Thomas Szasz
9. “The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.” -Thomas A. Edison
10. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” -Isaac Asimov
11. “Take your risks now. As you grow older, you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn’t even on.” -Amy Poehler
12. “Age is something that doesn’t matter unless you are a cheese.” -Luis Bunuel
13. “Be awesome! Be a book nut!” -Dr. Seuss
14. “Last night I dreamt I ate a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.” -Tommy Cooper
15. “Dear math, grow up and solve your own problems.” -Unknown
16. “To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.” -Jean-Luc Godard
17. “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” -Charles M. Schulz
18. “If at first, you don’t succeed, you’re normal.” -Kid President
19. “There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.” -Erma Bombeck
20. “Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” -Margaret Mead
21. “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.” -Albert Einstein
22. “When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.” -Mark Twain
23. “Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.” -Will Rogers
24. “In school they told me practice makes perfect. And then they told me nobody’s perfect, so then I stopped practicing.” -Steven Wright
25. “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours.” -Dolly Parton
26. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” -Winnie the Pooh
27. “Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.” -Paula Poundstone
28. “Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.” -Jim Davis
29. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” -George Carlin
30. “Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.” -Michael Caine
31. “When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” -Franklin D. Roosevelt
32. “Be happy, it drives people crazy.” -Paulo Coelho
33. “Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” -Salvador Dali
34. “Friend something better than chocolate ice cream… Maybe friend somebody you give up the last cookie for.” -Cookie Monster
35. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” -Oprah Winfrey
36. “I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.” -Bob Hope
37. “Respect your parents. They passed school without Google.” -Unknown
38. “Adults are just outdated children.” -Dr. Seuss
39. “Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gargle.” -Robert Anthony
40. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” -Erma Bombeck
41. “You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.” -Jack London
42. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” -Will Rogers
43. “Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies.” -Oliver Goldsmith
44. “When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative.” -Chris Rock
45. “We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.” -Bryan White
46. “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” -Oscar Wilde
47. “The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.” -Zach Galifianakis
48. “All generalizations are false, including this one.” -Mark Twain
49. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” -Cathy Guisewite
50. “No one is perfect – that’s why pencils have erasers.” -Wolfgang Riebe
51. “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it’s a friend with chocolate.” -Linda Grayson
52. “First day of school, make sure that you know your locker combination.” -Jordan Francis
53. “All music is folk music. I ain’t never heard a horse sing a song.” -Louis Armstrong
54. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” -Albert Einstein
55. “As a purely mathematical fact, people who sleep less live more.” -Amy Chua
56. “A conclusion is the place you get to when you’re tired of thinking.” -Jill Shalvis
57. “Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.” -Jeff Valdez
58. “There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one’s hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs.” -Lemony Snicket
59. “He who laughs last… just didn’t get the joke.” -Carroll Bryant
60. “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” -Dr. Seuss
61. “Yeah, well. I don’t try to be awesome. It just comes natural.” -Rick Riordan
62. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.” -Unknown
63. “Birthdays are nature’s way of telling you to eat more cake.” -Jo Brand
64. “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” -Winston Churchill
65. “Why does everything so bad for you always taste so dreamy?” -Colleen Houck
66. “When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn’t matter who’s president.” -Louis C. K.
67. “Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.” -Chili Davis
68. “Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” -Ellen DeGeneres
69. “You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.” -Bill Watterson
70. “Last night I slept like a log. I woke up in the fire place.” -Tommy Cooper
71. “Until you walk a mile in another man’s moccasins you can’t imagine the smell.” -Robert Byrne
72. “Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” -Steven Wright
73. “Today is a good day to try.” -Quasimodo
74. “If you think your teachers are tough, wait ’til you get a boss.” -Bill Gates
75. “My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.” -Matt Schucker
76. “She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us.” -Cher
77. “To answer your question, you want me because I’m made of awesome.” -Gena Showalter
78. “There is more treasure in books than in all the pirates’ loot on Treasure Island.” -Walt Disney
79. “There is no secret ingredient. It’s just you.” -Po
80. “I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I’m watching the highlights.” -Jay London
81. “The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” -Vince Lombardi
82. “Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans. It is lovely to be silly at the right moment.” -Horace
83. “Time’s fun when you’re having flies.” -Kermit the Frog
84. “To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.” -Doug Larson
85. “Sucking at something is the first step to becoming sorta good at something.” -Jake the Dog
86. “Life is like looking for your phone. Most of the time, it’s in your hand.” -Unknown
87. “A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows you are slightly cracked.” -Bernard Meltzer
88. “Some people are worth melting for.” -Olaf
89. “Work hard, nap hard.” -Demi Lovato
90. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” -Steven Wright
91. “I said school starts tomorrow. I didn’t say I was going to be there.” -Kim Harrison
92. “The road to success is always under construction.” -Lily Tomlin
93. “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.” -Betty White
94. “TV is chewing gum for the eyes.” -Frank Lloyd Wright
95. “I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I’ve ever met.” -Herb Caen
96. “Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” -Groucho Marx
97. “I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.” -Tommy Cooper
98. “The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.” -Erma Bombeck
99. “You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.” -Richard Branson
100. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” -Robin Williams
101. “Weather forecast for tonight: dark.” -George Carlin
102. “I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.” -Fred Allen
103. “If it’s going to be two against one, make sure you aren’t the one.” -Jill Shalvis
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Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.