70+ Hilarious Lime Jokes

A lime is a round and green citrus fruit. They offer sour flavors with a hint of bitterness. Read lime jokes for a laugh next time you see or use one.

Lime.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Limes are excellent citrus fruits that add flavor to drinks and foods.

Aside from flavor, they provide vitamins to nourish your body.

As versatile and healthy fruits, you’ll find them at any grocery store.

So, read the following lime jokes for a laugh next time you see one.

The funniest lime jokes

1. What kind of jokes do limes like?

One-limers.

2. Why did the lime prefer darkness?

It didn’t want to be in the limelight.

Half of a lime.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

3. What did one lime say to the other on Valentine’s Day?

Lime yours.

4. How do limes start a conversation with one they want to date?

They use pick-up limes.

5. What did the lime say to its best friend?

You’re my main squeeze.

6. Why does the lime train every day?

It wants to be the zest.

7. What does a lime say when it sets boundaries?

This is where I draw the lime.

8. What did the lime say when one tried to cut before the others?

Get in lime.

9. What does a lime say when a situation escalates?

Citrus got real.

Two lime wedges.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

10. What does a lime say before a social gathering?

It’s party lime.

11. What do you call limes that do everything together?

Partners in lime.

12. What’s a lime’s favorite motto?

Squeeze the day.

13. Did you hear about the lime’s birthday party?

It was sublime.

14. What does a lime sweat?

Lime juice.

15. Why doesn’t the lime get jealous of others with her boyfriend?

Citrus-ts him.

16. What did the lime say to comfort the other?

Lime here for you.

17. How do storybooks about limes begin?

Once upon a lime.

18. What did the uninterested lime say?

Lime bored.

19. Why did the lime turn into juice?

It couldn’t handle the pressure.

20. What do you call it when a lime gets close to crossing boundaries?

Blurring the limes.

21. Why are limes so popular?

They have appeal.

22. How did the lime get to the top of the mountain?

It went mountain c-lime-ing.

23. What did one lime say to inspire the other?

You must peel-ieve in yourself.

24. What do you call a lime that opens doors?

A key lime.

25. What’s a lime’s favorite dance?

The lime dance.

26. What’s a lime’s favorite sport?

In-lime skating.

Lime.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

27. What do you call the best lime?

Top of the lime.

28. How do limes find information?

On-lime.

29. Why did the limes break up?

Their interests didn’t a-lime.

30. Why do limes wear sunscreen?

They peel.

31. What can a whole lime do that half a lime can’t?

Look round.

32. What’s a lime’s favorite vacation destination?

Lime-a, Peru.

33. What did the lime say to the other that almost missed the bus?

You made it just in lime.

34. What did the lime say after encountering an obstacle?

We have a di-lime-a.

35. What did the lime say to its significant other?

Lime so in love with you.

36. What kind of car does a wealthy lime drive?

A Lime-borghini.

37. What’s a lime’s favorite nursery rhyme?

Mary Had a Little Lime.

38. What do limes say while exercising?

Peel the burn.

39. What did the lime say to its friend after many years?

Long lime, no see.

40. Why did the lime go out with the prune?

It couldn’t find a date.

41. What did the lime’s lawyer say?

I zest my case.

42. Why did the lime stop rolling?

It ran out of juice.

43. What do limes say to reject something?

I dec-lime.

44. Why did the lemon turn green?

It had lime disease.

45. What do you call a lime after its kids move out?

An empty zest-er.

46. What do limes get for working overtime?

Lime-and-a-half.

47. Which Transformer turns into a lime?

Optimus Lime.

Lime.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

48. Why did the lime go to the doctor?

It didn’t peel well.

49. What does a lime call a hobby?

A pas-lime.

50. What do limes say to apologize?

Lime sorry.

51. Which football position does a lime play?

Lime-backer.

52. What do you get when a lime hardens?

Limestone.

53. Why did the lime fail its class?

It couldn’t concentrate.

54. Why was the lime crying?

Someone hurt its peelings.

55. Why did the lime couple go on more dates together?

To spend quality lime.

56. Why couldn’t the lime perform in an orchestra?

It can’t keep lime.

57. Why couldn’t anyone reach the lime?

It was off-lime.

58. How do you treat a choking lime?

Do the Lime-lich maneuver.

59. What do limes ride to go to prom?

A lime-o.

60. What does a lime do before writing a book?

Create an out-lime.

61. What do you call it when a lime gives a warning?

A disc-lime-r.

62. What do you call a lime’s group of ancestors?

Its lime-age.

63. What can a lime call for assistance?

A hot-lime.

64. What does a lime sit on to relax?

A rec-lime-r.

65. What did the lime pirate say after taking over a ship?

Lime the captain now.

66. What did the lime say on Independence Day?

Lime proud to be an Lime-rican.

67. What does a lime say after getting home?

Honey, lime home.

68. What do limes read on the news?

Head-limes.

69. What’s a lime’s favorite type of steak?

Fi-lime-ignon.

Lime wedge.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

70. What did the lime say to the one that was breaking the rules?

You’re out of lime.

71. How do limes make phone calls?

They use a land-lime.

72. What do you call a lime at the beach?

A shore-lime.

Related: Puns About Pears

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.