40+ Funny Grandma Quotes

Grandmothers are fantastic. They’re loving, wise, caring, and fun. Read funny grandma quotes to have a good laugh. They’re also relatable.

Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

Grandmas are the best. They cook delicious food, share wisdom, and are always there for you.

They’re also one of the most influential figures in the family.

The bond between a grandma and a grandchild is a beautiful thing. It can also be a source of humor.

Read funny grandma quotes that you’ll find relatable and hilarious.

Funny grandma quotes to make her laugh

1. “That’s what it is to be a grandma. All fun and no stress.” -Marie Osmond

Marie Osmond quote about being a grandma.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

2. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.” -Ellen DeGeneres

3. “There’s no place like home – except grandma’s house.” -Unknown

4. “We believed in our grandmother’s cooking more fervently than we believed in God.” -Jonathan Foer

5. “This was typical of Gran. She always found her granddaughter too thin. That gave her an excuse to pile up the food on her plate and to treat her to homemade sweets almost every day too.” -Effrosyni Moschoudi

6. “Grandparents are there to help children get into the mischief they have not yet thought of.” -Unknown

7. “Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.” -Allan Sherman

8. “My grandma’s the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she’s doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot!” -Jeff Foxworthy

9. “To this day, I remember vividly Missy Elliott, Ludacris, and my grandma riding in a golf cart to set. My grandma went back to Ohio and told her bowling friends, ‘Guess what? I was riding to set with Missy and Ridiculous!'” -Alyson Stoner

10. “There’s milk-and-cookies Grandma, and there’s Colt 45 and Atlantic City Grandma. She was the latter.” -Jessica Williams

11. “Being pretty on the inside means you don’t hit your brother and you eat all your peas – that’s what my grandma taught me.” -Philip Stanhope

12. “As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.” -Prince William

13. “Every house needs a grandmother in it.” -Louisa Mae Alcott

14. “A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.” -Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck quote about grandmothers.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

15. “Grandmothers are better than the secret service. They know you did it. They know how you did it, and they can hear you trying to hide the evidence.” -Unknown

16. “Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother – you’re not sure what you’ve got but you’re pretty sure you’re not going to like it.” -Jeff Foxworthy

17. “The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.” -Joe Bob Briggs

18. “I am a grandmother now, and that means age is creeping on, creeping on.” -Lillie Langtry

19. “My grandmother sang, too, and she was really loud. It was this wild kind of singing.” -Cassandra Wilson

20. “If mom says no, ask grandma.” -Unknown

21. “Children are often spoiled because no one will spank grandma.” -Unknown

22. “When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.” -Ogden Nash

Ogden Nash quote about grandparents.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

23. “Mom knows a lot, but grandma knows everything.” -Unknown

24. “A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.” -Lois Wyse

25. “It’s impossible for a grandmother to understand that few people, and maybe none, will find her grandchild as endearing as she does.” -Janet Lanese

26. “Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting.” -Unknown

27. “Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you’re just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.” -Pam Brown

28. “It’s such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother, that’s why the world calls her grandmother.” -Unknown

29. “Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies.” -Unknown

30. “A grandma is warm hugs and sweet memories. She remembers all of your accomplishments and forgets all of your mistakes.” -Barbara Cage

31. “Just about the time a woman thinks her work is done, she becomes a grandmother.” -Edward H. Dreschnack

32. “If grandma hadn’t existed, kids would have inevitably invented them.” -Arthur Kornhaber

33. “If God had intended us to follow recipes, He wouldn’t have given us grandmothers.” -Linda Henley

34. “A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend.” -Unknown

35. “If nothing is going well, call your grandmother.” -Italian Proverb

Funny quotes every grandma will find relatable

1. “You think I can’t take your weight? I carried you when you were a baby and I could carry you now.” -Candice Carty-Williams

2. “You make all your mistakes with your own children so by the time your grandchildren arrive, you know how to get it right.” -Liz Fenton

3. “I don’t spoil my grandchildren, I’m just very accommodating.” -Unknown

4. “The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.” -Sam Levenson

5. “If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren, I would’ve had them first.” -Lois Wyse

Lois Wyse quote about having grandchildren.
Photo by David Em/Humor Living.

6. “The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren.” -Doug Larson

7. “My grandkids believe I’m the oldest thing in the world. And after two or three hours with them, I believe it, too.” -Gene Perret

8. “Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap.” -Doug Larson

Related: Funny Sayings and Expressions to Memorize

Featured image by David Em/Humor Living.